Amanda Starghill

Deep conditioning is an essential element in which coily hair thrives. Coily hair requires enriched moisture reinforcements due to its high potential to experience dryness. Because the circumference of coily hair is smaller than that of curly hair, the sebum from your scalp takes longer to travel down the hair shaft. Since sebum takes forever to get from roots to ends, you need to take measures to avoid dryness and breakage. Deep conditioners are filled with proteins, lubricants and oils to help your hair maintain elasticity, prevent breakage and restore strength. Here are six top tips for deep conditioning and washing your coils.

1. All natural conditioner

Deep conditioning is the time to rejuvinate your hair from manipulation and weather elements. Selecting a deep conditioner that is free of non-soluble silicones, non-permeable oils and drying alcohols will allow your hair to absorb more nutrients and decrease the rate of product build-up. No one wants to wash their hair just to experience dryness two days later. Natural conditioners are the best route to prevent decreasing your strand’s absorption capacity.

2. Behentrimonium chloride

This cationic surfactant is an awesome lubricant that helps to give your hair slip as you detangle. Coily hair is bound to become interwine, especially when activated with water. The last thing you want is to be excited for wash day, hop in the shower, run water on your hair and apply a conditioner that doesn’t have any slip. That’s the formula to an extremely matted mess! Slip is a must. Behentrimonium chloride provides slip that is equally effective as silicones minus the product build-up.

3. Penetrating oils

Avocado oil, coconut oil and olive oil are three oils that penetrate the hair shaft and reach the cortex. Because coily hair has a tendency to dry out, oils help to slow down the rate of moisture loss.

I always find myself in a position of informing people that this unofficial natural curly movement is not about rolling out of the bed and not doing anything to your hair. As I began to read, watch and interact with more naturals, I discovered that there is a niche of women who do just that to their hair, nothing.

In every culture and community there are unwritten rules and standards. The natural hair community is slowly but surely starting to build its own as well. Imposing your own standards on others is undoubtedly wrong, but does that notion still hold true when applied to an occasion? Are there such things as professional and unprofessional hairstyles? What is considered formal and what is considered casual?

Is the same measuring stick that is being applied to Solange’s care-free coils also being applied to Charlotte, who’s a partner at Jones & Associates Law Firm? Is it because of social reasons? I have no idea, but I have noticed that we might tell Solange to “do yo thang,” but give our cousin Portia the side eye because she opted not to do a flat-twist out for the wedding.

Again, is there a standard? That’s between that person, her tresses and possibly her employer. But beyond that I have noticed that there are basic unwritten rules in the hair care community that I must say I am way over.

General Styling

“There is this thing about getting your hair done,” Nicole Ari Parker said on Melissa Harris-Perry’s “The Politics of Black Hair,” and I can relate to this notion too well. Because women are so excited to learn, experiment and share incite from their hair care journeys, whatever has been identified as the staple or go-to product, technique or style has become the standard. Is there anything wrong with that? Not at all. Is there anything wrong with applying that communal standard to others? Um, yes. I’ve learned from experience that the most intricately styled hair is not a reflection of health. So leave the sista alone who wants to rock the big, undefined afro! Ask to touch her hair; it might be softer than yours.

Curl Definition

I get it, I get it. You want to maintain the water-wave look, but why react aversely to it when it dries? The gel and pudding police is on patrol, and if your hair has the slightest trace of frizzyness, run, because they’re coming full force with the flax seed gel & coconut oil concoction and it’s about to go down! Some ladies don’t have the best luck discovering a curl definer that doesn’t leave their hair crunchy. Even more women could just care less about curl definition. How your hair reacts to high dew points can be a reflection of dryness, but it can also be a reminder that you are no longer relaxed. Don’t mistake the obsession with curl definition for porous or damaged hair. It’s okay. You just look natural.

Smooth Edges

Constantly trying to lay your edges down will be the death of them. People always tell me I have a perfect hairline and ask how I maintained it. Because flat-twist outs are my staple hairstyles, there’s no need to lay my edges down. Not to mention I couldn’t care less. I’m natural, and hair that’s less than an inch (baby hair) is bound to stand up. Do I know how to lay my edges down for a sleek look? Yes, but it’s definitely not a daily concern.

Professional Hair

Can anyone explain to me what professional hair is? I am completely lost. I guess our picked-out afro is equivalent to the messy bun that straight-hair ladies wear effortlessly when they go for a quick run to the store. Is everything else fair game? Does color matter?

Formal Hair

I’m glad that the instinctive reaction to pull out the pressing comb for the annual gala is starting to whither. Women are slowly accepting that they can wear their hair in its curly state instead of straightening it for formal events. Esperanza Spalding definitely inspired other women when she rocked her signature picked-out ‘fro at the 2012 Academy Award. When I went to prom, I saw a few straight haired ladies who only gave their hair a few passes of the Chi iron, so why would it matter if I opted to pass on the curling pudding?

Final Thoughts

Everyone has thoughts that run through their minds when they see something that’s not their cup of tea, but I don’t see the point in making efforts to hold a public discussion around it. Unfortunately, society teaches us that we should be concerned with the appearance of other individiuals and even judge them at a higher standard than we judge ourselves. Discussing the appearance of others has always been a hot topic in dull conversation, but maybe next time we should think twice instead of taking it to the the street (i.e. web).

What is your take on unwritten rules and standards in the natural curl community? What are your own standards? Does the occassion dictate the style of your tresses?

Every natural wants to look summer time fine without the worry of moisture depletion from sun exposure and chlorine. Dryness is the main culprit of most, if not all, hair problems. In order to maintain length and shine, your hair needs moisture. Because coarse, coily textures are more prone to experience dryness, moisture reinforcements are essential.

Remove the Buildup

Although naturals rave over co-washing, some of the most praised drug store conditioners are packed with silicones. Yeah, I know the slip feels amazing for now, but the aftermath of product buildup is dryness like no other. If your conditioners don’t contain water soluble silicones, it may be time to switch it up. The Bobeam Cheris Hibiscs Moisturizing Shampoo Bar is great for removing excess buildup from your scalp and hair. The sulfate-free cleanser has emollients including coconut oil and shea butter that add moisture and prevent stripping.

Opt for Co-washing

Most natural coilies look forward to the wash and go season. A great way to rock your shrinkage, cut time and increase your hair’s moisture is co-washing. The problem is finding the right product that will not strip your coils of much needed moisture, but will still cleanse your coils from dirt and light product buildup. As I Am CoWash Cleansing Conditioner provides a clean wash without the stripping affects of shampoo. Although the product does not contain silicones, you will experience great slip after applying liberal amounts to your strands and detangling with either a wide tooth comb or your fingers. Let the co-wash sit for 3-5 minutes allows it to eliminate scalp debris and product buildup.

Leave-in Conditioners

Leave-in conditioners are a great solution for rejuvinating your coils after the manipulation of the wash process. Because coily hair needs so much moisture, you won’t want to skip this step in your routine. Leave-in conditioners help ban frizz and lock in much-needed moisture. Finickey Leave-in Conditioner can help lock in moisture and prepare your hair for styling by increasing manageability and making it easier to detangle. Apply it from root to tip in sections to distribute it evenly. Remember to show any knots extra love to prevent breakage when detangling.

Achieve Soft, Strong Definition

Now that you have cleansed and rejuvenated your coils, it’s time to style. There are many naturals who enjoy defined, stretched styles to the shrinkage of  some wash-and-gos styles but, no one wants to pay for elongation or definition with crunchy hair or dry. How do you get great definition without getting dry, crunchy coils? Not only does Camille Rose Naturals Curlaide Moisture Butter nourish your locks but provides a soft hold for twists and braids. Apply a generous amount on wet hair from root to tip and style as desired. For best results, allow your hair to air dry in order to maintain your hair’s ultimate softness.

CurlMart Coily Kits

Cleansing and conditioning are important elements in every regimen that produces happy, healthy coils. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get this recipe for happy moisture locked coils wrapped up nicely in a brown paper package or two? Well, we can’t promise the brown paper part, but now the Coily Detangling Kit and Detangling Summer Coils Kit are right at your fingertips in CurlMart.

The Detangling Summer Coils Kit includes the: 

• Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus Moisturizing Shampoo Bar and
• Camille Rose Naturals Curlaide Moisture Butter

Even though it’s July, summer will become progressively hotter as August and September roll around. Don’t allow the combination of high temperatures, high humidity and high dew points hair to rob your hair dry.

Grab a coily kit from CurlMart and enhance your hair regimen today!

“I don’t like when people try to steal my swag.” Is that right? It is safe to say that this generations, and particularly women, take competing to a whole new level. On countless occasions, I have had friends send me links to online stores or take me to delicious hole in the wall restaurants and say “Don’t tell anybody.” Every time I ask why, the response is either “I don’t want anyone to dress like me” or there is no response at all. Lately, I been hearing a lot about naturals with the same mentality.

Most naturals acquire their hair care information and styling techniques from other naturals. Whether it was a blog or YouTube, most women grabbed onto someone else’s coattail, so I am always perplexed when people hesitate to share their tricks of the trade.

I will say that my experience in the natural hair community has been very pleasant, but I am not going to act like I have not heard stories. After discussing this with a dear friend, she exclaimed, “Finally somebody is going to write about this!” She shared that some, but not all, women will skip an important element of their regimen so that you will not produce the same quality of results, if any at all.

Have you ever had a conversation about hair care similar to below:

Natural A: “Hey girl! Your hair is so cute! What is your regimen?”

Natural B: “Girl, I just threw some water on it!”

Natural A: “Oh…ok…but what products do you use?”

Natural B: ” I don’t even know. I just rub some stuff on it.”

Natural A: *insert black stare*

Come on ladies. We have to continue to uplift each other. I’m not sure who the innovator of the twist out is, but I’m thankful to them and more than happy to discuss my tips with someone else. In regards to products, to purposely not share and raise product awareness does not help the hair care companies do well. I know you may not be thinking that deep, but why deny others the opportunity to support the company? Failing to share products also gives the inclination that your dollars are the only ones keeping the company afloat *insert side eye* which we all know is not true.

I’m not sure why some people feel the need to be so guarded, but why not have fun assuming, right?

My Theory

For some odd reason, when some women are asked about their hair care regimen, it translates to, “I plan to take your identity, steal your man and the essence of who you are! Kill! Steal! Destroy!” *shaking my head* Purposely failing to share hair care tips and products is just foolishness. No two curls are alike, and I doubt that people will constantly get you confused with another natural just because you both use Bee Mine Curly Butter on your braid outs. These stories always tickle even though I know some women are be deeply offended by the lack of support. Let’s continue to help one another. No one got anywhere by themselves and there is always a blessings in helping others, whether you realize it or not.

Have you ever asked someone how they achieved that not so effortless curl definition, and their response was, “I just ran some water over it”? What has your experience been?

Oh the irony. Liberation seems to be a theme that women experience along their natural hair journey yet some seem to get so feisty at times. We appear to say “I don’t care,” but we’re ready to follow through with an uppercut at anyone who disagrees….but you don’t care right? If you no longer live by the unofficial, Eurocentric (long straight flowing hair) standard of beauty, why become frustrated by others who subconsciously patrol and abide by that standard? There should be no reason that the ignorance or hateration (yea, I said it) of others should affect you. Yes we want everyone to be just as excited as we are, but they probably won’t be and I don’t blame them. I have a friend who can talk days on end about the Navy, and it’s the perfect lullaby after a long day of studying.

It is easy to go into a lecture about how it is so much better to be natural and so on, but some people might not want to hear all that you want to tell them. When people ask questions, I am more than happy to answer and I try to gauge how much depth they are curious to know (if there is any). Note that I said happy to answer and not ready to charge someone up the second they say the “wrong” thing.

I was in fellowship, with a dear friend of mine and he made a profound statement: “I began to look at experiences as opportunities instead of trials.” I believe this can even be applied to how you chose to respond to comments about your hair or overall lifestyle choices. Everyone doesn’t want to hear “look at the positive” when the negative seems to surround you, but you should. If you take those trials of annoyance or irritation as opportunities to educate others, people are more likely to understand, although they may not necessarily agree.

First and foremost, no one really wants to be lectured. The same way you came to your own realization that everyone defines their own sense of beauty, so should others. No matter how many articles I read, I reached my ah-ha moment in due time, and you have to accept the fact that some may never reach theirs, and it should not matter. Sometimes it’s best to just answer questions as plainly as possible, refer them to a blog or forum if they want to get involved and leave it at that.

Another way to avoid being offended is to not build your hair up to others as so much more than just hair. Others may not value their own hair as holding as much significance as yours does to you. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect them to understand and value your hair the way you do.

Sometimes people will be more negative than positive when your hair is the topic of conversation. How you respond could be the difference between giving someone a negative or a positive perspective on natural hair and women with naturally curly hair.

How have you responded to offensive comments about your hair?

After seeing an increasing number of women transition to their natural curls, you too are considering leaving the Just For Me box on the shelf. For most women, everything started with that simple decision. From there, most began with a simple Google search. When you insert “how to go natural…” results come up from ehow, naturalhaircommunity, and even chrisitan living. Your first instinct is to look for inspiration via great natural hair photos and then dive into products, techniques and all of the scientific jargon.

Being the Newbie

One phase the natural hair community tends to forget about is how overwhelming the newbie experience can be. Questions of where to start, how to start and even what sites and forums to trust always run in the minds of the eager and confused newbie. At least, for me it did. Even though this new found interest in proper hair care has grown significantly, I’m not too prideful to admit that my initial searches were concerned with what made my hair the softest and cuteness, completely disregarding whether it would provide any health benefits to my locks. You initially look for a good gel and end up in a discussion about pH balance, porosity levels and something about a banana before bed.

As you continue to stumble on 15 solutions for one problem, it can grow increasingly discouraging as you spend time, energy and money purchasing multiple products and trying different methods during your hair care exploration. This journey is exactly that, a journey and although it does take time to listen and become acclimated to what your hair reacts positively and negatively to, sometimes curiosity should just stop at curiosity.

Keep it Simple

I have been on my hair care journey for three years, transitioned to natural for 10 months, and been officially natural for a year. It took a while for me to realize that not only is every solution not appeasing to my hair, but neither are all of them necessary. My wash day is already a two hour process to wash and style. I can’t imagine reallocating time from studying, work, family time and prayer to overly nurture my hair. In my short time of learning what may hair does respond to, I refuse to alter my lifestyle for the worst just to continuously try and one up myself (lol).

The biggest mistake to make on the hair care journey is to transform it into something that consumes your life. Moderation is key. Do not allow your new found hair care interest to limit exploration in other areas of your life. If part of being natural is liberating then don’t give up the relaxers just to be in bondage to excessive natural hair care.

The last thing you want to do is to miss the mark of this unofficial hair care revolution and run right back to relaxers because you mistook this beautiful experience for a trend or allowed it to consume your life and end in frustration.

Things to Do

1. Create a simple regimen

One way to avoid an obsession that could lead to frustration and discouragement is by establishing your staple method and products. Staples are called staples for a reason. Once you find what works for you, it may be best to stick to it. By experimenting with different products in the never ending hunt for the creme de la creme of products, you may not only damage your hair, but also  be unintentionally re-prioritizing your time and spending. There’s no reason to spend the whole day pre-pooing, shampooing, co-washing, deep conditioning, hot oil treating, ACV rinsing, black tea rinsing, protein treating, henna treating, moisturizing and sealing. Some methods cancel out others, you learn that with observing your hair and producing a consistent regimen.

2. Stay healthy

Another way to avoid becoming an excessive natural is to assure that you are not neglecting your physical health for luscious locks. Exercise has always been in the doctor’s orders. For some reason women are under the impression that being natural will motivate you to increase your workout frequency. Not so much. You may try to avoid working out so that you won’t need to wash and restyle your hair, but a healthy body is more important than and can also benefit the condition of your hair.

3. Enjoy the sun

Fun in the sun is also an activity that should not be avoided because you are so conscious of your hair drying to the point of no return. Relax. If your hair is that porous, hats are always available at your nearest department store. Don’t become a home-body to assure that your twist-out remains in tact.

4. Take a swim

Swimming is another health promoting, fun activity that many naturals avoid. Although chlorine and salt water aren’t anyone’s best friend, your hair is not a valid reason not to spend time with your loved ones in the water. Even though much of the natural hair community is anti-shampoo it will actually help cleanse your hair with a gentle shampoo after swimming.

Final Thoughts

Too much of anything is never good. Moderation is key. Many naturals realize this after being exhausted with a product junkie phase. You can quit while you’re ahead if you know you have a good, working regimen. Then you can relax and enjoy your natural curls, not obsess over them. Wearing and taking care of your hair in its naturally curly state should be just one positive part of your life. Yes, becoming a part of the naturally curly community and obtaining new knowledge is exciting, but it should not take precedence over your loved ones and other life priorities.

Has your new interest in your natural curls become overwhelming? Does it take up all your extra time and attention? How have you avoided becoming obsessed about your natural curls?

I have had numerous conversations with men regarding natural hair, and I must say I find it humorous. Do they say things that are terribly offensive? Sometimes. Are they aware of it? Not at all. You’re probably wondering why I find it funny, and there are two main reasons. My number one rule is that I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me. Secondly, everyone has room to mature, and if you choose to, great. If not, that’s fine too. When people ask me what my “type” is, my response is always, “attractive is attractive.” Whether or not someone meets your initial standards of physical beauty should’t matter if you are attracted to them…but I digress.

They say kids say the darndest things, but I think sometimes men say the darndest things. Men and women seem to always communicate on two different frequencies. I remember a comedian commented that his girlfriend said “baby I haven’t seen you in two weeks” to which he responded, “I just saw you two weeks ago!” Same words, different message. You have to at least make an effort to identify the root of what men are trying to say in regards to their opinion about hair (if they even have one). Although what they meant to say may be equally as offensive as what they actually said, trying to identify what they are really saying gives more room for understanding; mind you I said understanding and not agreement. Below are a few familiar comments I hear men share in conversation all the time.

“You got that good hair”

I know you are thinking the writer must have 3a hair that hangs effortlessly down her back. Well, no. I have coarse 3c/4a/4b hair. Do men know that? No, because I wear stretched styles 99% of the time, preferably flat-twist outs. Am I ashamed of my coils? Not at all. I wish I could wear wash ‘n’ gos more often, but my hair is a sucker for those single strand knots. Some men’s understanding of “good hair” is anything that lays down. When I tell them my hair can stand up with the best of them, they’re always left dumbfounded. I could go into depth about what a twist-out is, but I always politely correct them as they try to compliment one natural by putting down another.

“I don’t like natural hair”

I have 3 responses to that statement:

1. “But you have natural hair….”
2. “Do you not like natural hair or do you not like short hair?” When asked this question, men say short hair nine times out of ten. Their understanding of natural hair might be a fade. You have to think of it like this: Men are use to seeing their mothers and sisters come home with their hair laying down whether it was naturally straight, relaxed, dyed or laid to the side. They don’t all know how it happened, they don’t care, but they do know that’s how women come home from the salon. In their eyes, women are randomly cutting their hair off at an alarming rate and they immediately identify it with going natural. Because there are a lot of women who big chop instead of long-term transitioning, this is what they see, no questions asked. Am I supporting their identification with short hair as less desirable? Not at all. Preference is preference.
3. “Do you not like natural hair or a certain type of natural hair?” I always ask.

Me: “Do you like Christina Milian and Mya’s hair?”

Male: “Yeah.”

Me: “But they have natural hair….”

Male: *Insert side smirk and brisk head shakes of denial*  “Naw, naw, naw!!!”

Me: “But they’re natural. You must not like a certain type of natural hair? Like yours?” This is me being facetious.

That statement is only an effort to help them correctly identify what they dislike. Is it okay to overlook someone’s essence for a texture preference? Well, it’s not my place to tell someone what they should or should not find attractive.

“I don’t like the tennis ball look”

This statement ties in with the big chop. I explain to them that some women retain length better with their hair in its natural state versus relaxed state. After reading numerous blogs and forums, it’s fair to say that a lot of natural curlies want to retain length. Although transitioning is an option, I never like explaining that, so I just tell them that some women have to big chop in order to have long hair.

Although a lot of men might say things that seem offensive out of a lack of understanding, all you can do is answer questions when opportunities present themselves and throw in a little challenge if necessary. Remaining pleasant presents them with the opportunity to see past the “tennis ball look.” As much as I read about militant naturals, I’m glad I never met one and encourage you to be aware of subconsciously becoming one. Think about it — it’s hard for others to bask in your liberating beauty if you’re always so aggressive.

Is this familiar to you? What strange things have you heard from people who don’t seem to understand your curls, coils or waves?

Through the eyes of the unfamiliar, this unofficial natural hair movement can appear to be vain or even political, but it is far more complex than that. Every woman’s reason to big chop or transition varies due to health, aesthetics, convenience, lifestyle and a multitude of other reasons. I can understand how a swarm of women cutting off their hair can look like a trend, but the connotation of a trend seems to undermine the bigger picture of a decision that is significant and seems to be final.

Building a Community

An element of the natural hair revolution that is undoubtedly true is that the nuance of camaraderie amongst women pushing for a common goal has broken so many barriers and strongholds. Because this popular niche is continuously gaining recognition, more women are coming to understand just how diverse the group is within itself. Many women are professionals, mothers and students who live completely different lifestyles but ultimately all desire healthy hair. The misconception that rocking natural hair is more difficult is being refuted, and as a result, more women are embracing their natural tresses. As women begin to fellowship, learn, decipher, and apply certain methods and products to their hair, on their own terms, they have begun to see that maintaining and styling natural hair doesn’t have to be laborious after all. The statement that you make time for what you want stands true in respects to maintenance, but this applies to all hair, chemically treated or not.

Does your lifestyle leave you too exhausted to styling your coils everyday? Have you made multiple attempts to achieve second day hair with a pineapple and a spritz of water? Length is one of the factors in finding low maintenance coily hair styles that last anywhere from three days to a week.

Start With a Defined Style

The key to maintaining set styles for multiple days is starting with a defined style, preferably something that is styled while the hair is wet or damp. Whether it’s wet set or a dry flat-twist out, you’ll lose more definition over time, so the more defined the hair is to start with, the longer it will last.

Learning how to achieve your desired style comes with trial and error, but staple elements in maintaining the health of your hair shouldn’t change. Don’t compromise the health of your hair for aesthetics. Your hair will also be easier when you treat it with proper care.

Apply Products Correctly

Product application plays a major role in getting a lasting style. Shingling products along the length of your strands allows the hair to better retain moisture. It also holds the style for a longer period of time because the products are evenly distributed.

For those living in a humid climates with high dew points, assure that the moisture reinforcements in your regimen contain fewer levels of humectants. Hair frizzes due to swelling of the hair shaft. Dry hair expands in order to grasp moisture in the air. If your hair contains high levels of humectants, then it will swell when pulling moisture from the air. Balance is key.

Remember that water is the only source of moisture, so when setting your hair, it’s important to at least spritz your tresses before sealing with an oil or butter mixture.

Here are some coily hair styles that require very little maintenance and can last up to a week.

• Finger coils (TWA or short): Finger coils can last anywhere from four days to an entire week. The only maintenance that is needed is a satin bonnet before bed and a spritz of water before starting your day. The smaller they are, the longer they last.
• Small flat-twist outs (Medium length): Not only does styling flat-twist outs in small sections allow the coils to stretch more but it also does not require re-twisting at night. After moisturizing your hair before bed, all you need is a satin scarf to wrap around your hair and a satin bonnet to prevent the scarf from falling off.
• Updos (Medium or Long): Don’t want to rock cornrows? You don’t have to. Bobby pins are your best friend. By taking an old (or new) flat-twist out or twist left in tact, you can just grab and pin your hair into the style you desire. This method will also add texture to your styles.
• Wash ‘n’ goes  (Medium or Long): Using the pineapple method at the crown, sides, or nape of the neck allows you to maintain definition of your curls original pattern. Spritzing with water in the morning will allow your curls to spring back into place after being flattened during sleep.
• Braid outs (Medium or Long): Braid outs are a great way to combat shrinkage and single strand knots. Whether you braid in big or small sections, you only need to put your hair in chunky twists before bedtime to keep the set in tact for the next day.

How do you achieve lasting, coily hairstyles?