Cozy Friedman

Q: I have a precious 5-year-old daughter. She is biracial (black/white) and she has very soft curly hair. I need help with which products I should be using in her hair.

Mom needs help with selecting products for her 5-year-old daughter.

It’s hard to make a product recommendation without understanding what the problem is and what you feel you need help with. I suspect that her hair is on the dry side and that she would benefit greatly from moisturizing. She would certainly benefit from a thick and creamy conditioner (So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner), as well as a spray leave- in conditioner. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In Conditoner & Detangler. This will keep her hair detangled as well as deliver the hydration her hair needs. Her hair is gorgeous!!

Q:My daughter is almost 8 with 3c hair. I have been trying to get rid of the frizz, I have been frustrated for some time. She is a a stage where she wants to comb her hair and play with it several times a day. I feel that if I keep telling her to stop playing with her hair that she is going to start to hate it. I just do not know what to do.

Cozy: Typically I receive questions about what to do with their kids who won’t comb their hair, so this is a welcome change! It’s wonderful that your daughter has taken such an interest in her grooming, but like anything else, all things are best in moderation! I suspect that this is just a phase, and the intensity of it will pass when she moves on to the next phase.

As for the frizz, combing and brushing curly hair will make it frizzy because it ruffles the cuticles, which is what makes it look fuzzy. Perhaps you can teach her how to work with her hair in a way that will look better and not make it frizzy. Also, if she is experimenting with styles like braids and ponies, that can help make it look better and keep frizz at bay.

Q: My youngest daughter has curly hair — little ringlets. It is starting to get a little frizzy around the top of her head. I need to know what products to get for her hair and how to use them. Please tell me more about how to care for her hair. I’m very new to curls. I have hair that is only curly underneath and have never been able to do anything with it. So I wear a ponytail every day! Thanks for helping a newbie!

Cozy: I’d recommend a light styling cream for her fine hair. You don’t want to use anything heavy or thick because that will weigh her fine hair down and will end up taking away the gorgeous curls. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after bathing. Just “scrunch” in a quarter size amount, distributing evenly around the hair. You can also use on dry hair in between baths as a touch up. Use a little less on dry hair.

Q: I have an 11-year-old daughter with hair that has been giving me a headache for the past five years. It’s super thick and looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket! When she gets out of the shower, she has very pretty ringlets. But once it dries, it pops up into a frizz nest. I am clueless about what to put in her hair and how to style it. She just puts it in a ponytail. The ends are really dry and I have tried everything I can think of. I have straight hair so I don’t know what to do to help her.

Cozy: The goal is to lock in those gorgeous ringlets that you see after she showers. Try an alcohol-free gel like So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. This will help to keep the cuticle smooth, which is what prevents frizz. You can experiment with how much to use, starting with a quarter-size “scrunched” in evenly throughout her hair. My secret tip for dried-out ends is to use a thick and creamy conditioner (try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner) and not completely rinse out of the ends of the hair. This will help to lock in extra moisture that is needed to hydrate the dried-out hair.

Q: I have straight hair, but my kids have very curly hair, courtesy of their dad. A “friend” of mine told me that every picture she sees of my children, they look wild! I do admit I don’t brush their hair a lot, as its always such a battle, gets very tuggy and I feel awful doing it. So normally it’s only been shampooed and conditioned. Their dad is no use because he doesn’t do anything to his! It’s always frizzy, too. How do I tame the curls? Should I brush daily? What products could I use?

Cozy: This brings back memories! My hair was the same crazy hair you are describing. Good news—there is a way to deal with this that won’t be a battle and will solve your problems!

Don’t try to comb or brush their hair when it’s dry. Instead, get a wide-toothed detangling comb and keep it in the tub. Get So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler, which was created to be used in the tub after shampooing. You can use this instead of your regular conditioner or in addition to it (extra moisturizer is always great for curly kids). Apply a generous amount and comb through hair and tangles. After bathing, “scrunch” in a light styling cream to avoid frizz. Let hair dry naturally (or if you need to blow dry hair, always use a diffuser).

Q: I’m Irish with straight, very thin, naturally red hair—but my daughter seems to have inherited my grandfather’s semi-curly hair! So, blondish curls on top (wispy—kind of poodle like), easy-to-see-layers that I think will be wavy on the sides. I’m kinda
at a loss as to how to care for it. My questions are:

1. Shampoo suggestions? Mommy blogs have recommended The Original Little Sprout - Moisturizing Baby Shampoo. I have to wash it every night because she’s a messy eater.

2. What kind of hair brush? (And where to buy)

3. Is brushing curly different than brushing straight hair? I feel like I’m flattening her curls, which I don’t want to do… I just want to remove any tangles.

Cozy: You are right, brushing her curls isn’t the way to go. Instead, use a wide-toothed comb in the tub when you condition. This will remove the tangles and neaten things up. If you let her hair dry naturally, her natural curl will develop. The wavy hair on the sides will likely start to shape up a little. As for shampoo, I recommend So Cozy Very Berry Tear Free Shampoo; it was formulated specifically for children with 11 herbal extracts, including comfrey (soothes and protects) and horsetail (critical to hair growth). Plus, it smells so good that kids love to use it!

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Q: I know it’s probably way too early to tell and her hair texture will probably change, but I can’t tell the difference between curls and cowlicks. I have 2 boys — one with thick, coarse, straight hair, and the other with fine hair that would probably be wavy if it were longer. My baby girl is 8 months old now with fine hair that is a lot thinner than either of the boys. She has a few areas in the front on the right side and on the back left that seem to stick up more than they did when they were shorter. How do I tell whether she’s going to have beautiful curls, or whether she’s going to be fighting cowlicks her whole life?

Cozy: A cowlick is hair that grows in a circular direction, so you can tell a cowlick by looking at the roots to see which direction the hair is growing. The most typical problem with cowlicks is that the hair sticks up. To prevent this, don’t cut the cowlick short, that’s what makes it stick up. Instead, when cutting hair, leave the cowlick longer than the rest of the hair. Also, don’t fight with the cowlick. Comb it in the direction it is growing.

Q: We have been waiting for my daughter to finally get some hair, but now that it is here, I am finding it to be crazy frizzy and hard to manage. The products I have tried are not really working anymore. I know this is just going to get harder to manage as her hair keeps growing unless I start with the product modification now. Her hair is very fine and very frizzy — possibly a 3A. I’d love some product recommendations.

Cozy: Finding the right products will be a trial and error process for your daughter, just like it is for you! I definitely recommend using products formulated specifically for children so that they will address your daughter’s needs. For fine hair, you don’t want to weigh it down with heavy products. So Cozy has 2 different products that should help prevent frizz and manage hair. Try Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. You can use it on wet or dry hair. Just scrunch it into her hair anytime you need to remove frizz or help to redefine the curls. You can also try Groovy Grape Alcohol Free Styling Gel. Use a little or a lot, depending on the amount of hold she requires.

Q: I need help/advice for my daughter’s hair. She is a 3c/4a and 9 years old. Her hair is very long — at least mid-back. She is not able to do her own hair yet. At what age should daughters be able to wash/condition/comb/style their own hair? She has a few more years until she will be totally independent, but in the meantime she should be learning good grooming habits and taking part in her own grooming.

Cozy: I recommend practicing in the evenings or weekends when you have spare time. Never try to teach her when you are rushing to get her to school or in a hurry. Having time to experiment and make mistakes will take the stress out of the grooming process.

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp, and her hair is extremely dry. AND we have do another session in 10 days. Is there a safer alternative?

Cozy: If you go online and search for lice remedies, you will notice that there are many different schools of thought on how to deal with lice, and this really has to do with your own personal philosophy regarding treatments. I recommend you look at all the alternatives on line and then discuss with your pediatrician.

Q: I have recently came to realize how naturally curly hair is beautiful. and how I was taught for so many years that natural hair is bad. My sister in law is the same way, and always wants to straighten my niece’s hair. I am trying to convince her to love it and stop combing. What suggestions can I give her so she can work with her daughter’s hair rather than fighting it. I feel like my niece could learn to embrace her natural texture if her mom was more positive about it.

Cozy: I wish someone would have taught me this lesson when I was a child. It would have saved me thousands of hours with a blow dryer trying to tame my curly hair and frizz! Perhaps you can style your niece’s hair and show your sister how beautiful her natural curls are! Make sure you never brush curly hair, and only comb it out in the tub. After bathing, scrunch hair with Styling Cream or Gel to enhance curls and keep frizz free. Let hair dry naturally or blow dry with diffuser. When hair is dry, re-scrunch with head upside down to add body and volume. You can also do this with a little styling cream to smooth hair. Good luck!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp and her hair is extremely dry. And we have do another session in 10 days. Are there any alternatives that are safe and effective?

Cozy: There are many different philosophies about how to deal with lice. Some people do not believe in using pesticides and some do. Some believe in smothering the lice, and some don’t. It really is a personal choice. Your best bet is to consult your pediatrician to see what the options are. When you do finally rid your child of lice, use a lot of heavy-duty moisturizing to rehydrate the dried-out hair. I would recommend not completely rinsing the conditioner out of your daughter hair when she bathes and use BOO! Leave-In Conditioner daily to prevent lice from coming back. It is all natural, paraben free and safe to use daily.

Q: I’ve got a question about morning frizz. My 10-year-old daughter has fine 3a hair. She wears her hair braided for bed, but the hairs around her face escape and she wakes with a halo of frizz. Currently, she dampens it down and brushes it into submission for her school plaits. I’ve read that brushing isn’t good, so what do you do with children’s morning frizz?

Cozy: You are right — brushing hair isn’t good for curly hair, and will only create frizz by ruffling the cuticle. Instead, spray in So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler and “scrunch” hair to reactivate her natural curl and remove frizz.

Q: My 2-year-old old daughter has very curly hair. I used to mostly put it in pig tails but lately she has lost patience with that idea! I have just been combing it out with a wide-toothed comb while I have conditioner all over it and then again once I rinse it out. I pat it a little to dry (just so it isn’t dripping) and then put product on it. Then I put on one of her head bands and usually a bow. This photo was taken recently (I must not have washed it that morning; it is less frizzy on wash days). I have been thinking lately that maybe I should get her hair cut so that it has more of a style. Any suggestions? She has never even had a trim. When her hair is wet it is just past her shoulders.

Cozy: I think her hair is adorable! If you do want to cut it, make sure you go to someone who really understands curly hair, regardless of whether you are going for a trim or a real change. If it’s cut properly, it will grow into a nice shape and style.

Q: I’m a curly teen who recently discovered how to take care of my hair and who just got my first curly haircut! It was a fantastic moment and I’m definitely happy for finding a salon that understands my hair type. The bad news is that my cut cost $60. I’ve never had a cut over $30, and since I’m only 15, my parents are obviously supporting me in my financial needs (haha, nice way of putting it, I think!). My dad doesn’t at all understand the importance of taking care of my hair. When he found out about this Web site he thought I was being narcissistic! How can I explain to him that taking care of my hair is something important, and not some self-indulgent thing? And when I need to get my haircuts, how can I convince him to let me go to a salon that understands curly hair, even if it’s a little more expensive?

Cozy: I wish that I would have understood my curly hair when I was a teenager! It would have saved me many hours chained to my blow dryer trying to straighten out my frizzy hair! It’s wonderful to hear that you have embraced your curls! I have a few ideas to help you solve your problems. First, perhaps you can offer to split the cost of the expensive with your parents, using babysitting or allowance money. Maybe your father will respect your choice once he sees how important it is to you that you are willing to spend your own money. Another option is to find another stylist in a less expensive salon. Plenty of stylists know how to cut curly hair. You may find a recommendation by asking a person with great curly hair where they get their haircut! Lastly, perhaps you can go to your curl stylist less often, and fill in at a less expensive salon in between visits.

Q: My daughter is almost 10, and I have noticed in the past year or so that her hair seems go be changing. I would say she has about 2c hair all over, but lately in the root area, it is more like a 3c. Her hair is very kinky, curly and frizzy at the roots and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I am happy with the way she’s looking, but the frizz in the roots is driving both of us crazy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Cozy: It is quite common for a person’s hair texture to change over the years. You may be right that her is actually changing now. Frizzy hair is caused by the cuticle being unsettled. To prevent this from happening, use a styling aid that will settle the cuticle, such as So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. It’s perfect for this particular situation because it is light enough that it won’t weigh the hair down too much or make the roots look greasy. A small amount evenly distributed through her hair should do the trick!

Q: My 4.5 yr olds are really curly and have very different curl types. One is a 3a, the other a 3c like her mommy but with much more fragile hair. I can’t seem to find specific recommendations for kids curls by type. I can say that the 3a doesn’t do well with gel, and the 3c needs a little more hold but gel makes her hair a bit stiff. I don’t mind getting different products for them. Any suggestions?

Cozy: It will always be trial and error when dealing with styling products! You may even find that a styling gel from one company may work fine for your daughter’s hair, but from another it’s not right. You should look for a gel that is alcohol-free so it won’t dry out the hair, Try So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. It’s a light formulation so it won’t make hair look stiff or wet and you can use more or less to suit your style. For finer hair, So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream is great because it won’t weigh down the hair but will help defrizz and control. You can use on wet or dry hair. You may also find that different products will work differently depending on the time of year and the weather.

Q: I have an 8-year-old daughter with beautiful (3b) curly hair. I recently met a woman who told me about NaturallyCurly.com, and WOW!, I’m so excited. What I’d like to know, and can’t seems to find on the site, is a good regimen for her hair. I’m never really sure how often to shampoo her hair, and or if we should go the no-poo route. Do you think that you could give me advice for proper curly hair treatment?

Cozy: You have definitely come to the right place! You are very smart to start a proper regiment now while she is young. Different people have different philosophies about what type of formulation to use. I recommend using something as gentle as possible, with vitamins and minerals and I suggest staying away from parabens (synthetic preservatives that may be quite harmful), like So Cozy products. As for the curly hair regimen, if she has beautiful curly hair already, it sounds like whatever you are doing, you should keep doing! A few tips: never brush curly hair, it causes frizz by ruffling the cuticle, comb out tangles with wide tooth comb while bathing with conditioner in hair, lastly, spray in a leave in conditioner in the morning and “scrunch” hair to reactivate curls. We love So Cozy Fruity Delight.

Q: I want to let my daughter’s hair dry naturally. When it warms up it won’t be an issue and she can bathe in the morning. In the past, she takes an evening shower or bath in the winter months, and just goes to bed with wet hair. Sure it would be perfect if we could take care of it after school so she could have time for her hair to dry before bed time. But this just isn’t possible many nights. She also doesn’t like the blow dryer so I rarely use one. Is it okay to sleep on her wet hair if she has curls?

Cozy: Of course it would be ideal if everyone with curly hair always had time to let their hair dry naturally in order to allow the natural curl to form. However, we all know that isn’t the case! So, in the morning, you need to re-activate your daughter’s natural curls. When your daughter wakes up, try spraying So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner into her hair and then “scrunch” the hair. This should help reactivate the curls and get rid of the frizz that occurred from the movement in her sleep. Since it’s a leave-in conditioner, it will help keep hair hydrated too.

Q: I have a 2.5-year-old daughter with beautiful, but very fine and very curly hair. It’s very hard for me to keep her hair looking nice since she often twists her hair (making nasty knots) and she has a large spot on the back of her head that gets rubbed from pillows/carseats/etc. and thus it stays frizzy. I work very hard on her and it looks nice for about two hours. I know things will be easy when she’s old enough to help me care for it, but I need some major advice. I am considering getting her hair cut so that at least I don’t have has much hair to work with when I’m trying to get the knots out.

Cozy: Many people do in fact keep hair short to keep hair more manageable for younger children. However, you don’t have to go this route. Of course it will be more maintenance with longer hair, but that’s up to you decide how much time and energy you want to put into her hair. If you decide not to cut it, I recommend experimenting with putting her hair up in different styles. This will help prevent knots as well as discourage her from twisting her hair. Additionally, it will help prevent hair from rubbing in her car seat, etc., so frizz won’t be as much of a problem. Ponytails and braids are great alternatives, and stay neater longer.

Q: I need help with how to deal with both the dryness and tangling of my daughter’s hair. She is 10, so you’d think I’d have figured this out. But since I see grown women still trying to master their curls, I am not feeling so bad that I haven’t gotten this completely down! Her hair is coarse, like most curly hair. But it is actually pretty thin in density. She has spiral coiled hair. Also, she has some layers in it. My problem is that I cannot seem to find leave-in hair products to stop the dryness. Her hair is horribly dry, and she gets the worst tangles and knots. I am assuming the dryness is a contributor to the knots. It takes us a good 15 minutes or longer to untangle her mess — particularly underneath in back. She wears so many ponytails because I just don’t have time before school to deal with it. She uses a satin pillowcase, and we try to put loose scrunchie ponytails in at night. We only wash once a week and intensely condition with heat once a month. I only ever detangle when her hair is wet LOADED with conditioner, and I use a wide-toothed comb. I get it detangled to a point where I can run a fine-toothed comb through it (while wet and conditioned) with ease. So I am getting the knots out. I let it dry from near-soaking wet and do not towel dry or blow dry it. But by the next day, it is a wreck again. Help!

Cozy: You are doing a terrific job with your daughter’s tricky hair, and you are absolutely right that many adults don’t know how to deal with their curls, so you are many steps ahead! It sounds like you are doing the right treatments. Perhaps you just haven’t found the right hydrating product yet. You need to keep her hair as hydrated as possible. For ultra-dry hair, I have a secret tip. When you conditioner her hair, try leaving in a nickel-size amount of conditioner in it rather than rinsing it all out. This will help keep hair moisturized. I recommend So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner> It’s so thick and creamy, yet it won’t weigh hair down. Also keep in mind that there is no magical treatment that you can do once a week that will help you. It’s like making your bed. You need to do it everyday otherwise it’s a mess. Good luck!

Q: First of all, I want to point out that my 2-year-old daughter has extra-dry hair. I can’t tell if it’s a 3a or 3b, but it is rather dry. I’ve been getting it to look and feel more like it has some sheen with the help of oils and conditioners. But I don’t know if that’s a bad approach. I do use regular baby shampoo for her as well, and I don’t shampoo her hair every day. She has this extra stubborn dry spot located at the bottom, back of her hair. I do use a lot of conditioner in that spot and it usually helps for a while, but it can build up after a while. Since it’s not breaking off or anything (just growing rather slowly), I must be doing the right thing by keeping it conditioned as much as possible. Or am I? Is it common for toddlers to have a particular spot in their hair and scalp that seems considerably dryer that the rest of the hair?

Cozy: It’s not clear to me if it’s her hair or her scalp that is considerably drier in one particular spot. In either case, it’s not uncommon for a toddler to have multiple textures of hair or dry patches of scalp. If it’s the scalp, I recommend having your pediatrician take a look. If it’s her hair, continue to use a lot of conditioner, especially a leave-in conditioner. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight. You can use it as often as you like and will actually help hair look better while it’s conditioning, and to help prevent tangles at the same time.

Q: My little baby doll is quickly approaching one, and of course is refusing to let me feed her anymore. She has to do it herself. The only problem is that the food inevitably ends up in her hair! Corn, peas, black beans, sweet potatoes, Cheerio. It doesn’t matter. I’d like to find a gentle shampoo that can get the food out of her hair.

Cozy: Make sure you are taking lots of pictures. She’s at the most darling stage! In the meantime, use a gentle tear-free shampoo like So Cozy Very Berry Shampoo. It’s Paraben Free (no synthetic preservatives) and formulated specifically for children so it won’t sting her eyes. Enjoy every cute moment!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: My daughter is 4, and I’m guessing her hair type is 2a (I’m new to all this). My hair is straight so I have no clue what to do with her hair. It’s very fine, tangles easily and is prone to frizz. I’ve tried mousses and leave-ins, but they weigh her hair down. She also doesn’t like much done to her hair. I need help!

Cozy: For fine hair, you need to be very careful to use a light product that won’t weigh down your daughter’s hair. But at the same time, it will help to control and prevent frizz. If you have some control, that will also help prevent tangles. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. It’s lightweight, but still gets the job done! Some added benefits: it smells great and will make hair shiny!

Q: My 4-year-old is a 4b and she has soft hair, but it shrinks about 75 percent. I always wrap her hair in ponytails, but she seems to be hating this since she is now going to school. When I left her hair loose one day with a band, she said almost all the children in her class (99 percent white) were touching her hair (she started a few weeks ago). I have since noticed that this has left my little girl a bit frustrated and she has constantly said she wants long hair. She told me one day when I was doing her hair that another child in nursery had called her a gorilla. What can I do to help my little daughter?

Cozy: Children can be so mean, especially when someone is different from themselves or from what they are used to. It’s important that you instill a sense of pride in your daughter that will help build her self-esteem. These are life-long lessons that she will be dealing with her whole life, and it’s never too early to start. Helping your daughter manage her hair is a great step in the right direction! Take your daughter to a professional who can give her a great, proper haircut. Help her to embrace her beautiful hair so that she will feel good about herself.

Q: My daughter is biracial and had the longest ringlets I had ever seen. But they got too long (down to her diaper at 2), so I took her to someone who said they cut mixed hair. I explained to her I didn’t want to loose her ringlets. To make a long story short, she cut her ringlets into a 80s shag. Basically she cut up the ringlets and made them waves (many tears inserted here). I thought I could get them back by letting them grow out and cutting the curls in the proper S, getting them blunt again. But they are more like long wiggles then ringlets. Recently my daughter took scissors to her own hair (more tears), but I noticed that where she cut it close to the scalp, it is coming back in with ringlets. Could it be that her hair is too heavy to start the ringlet again, and I need to cut it all short?

Cozy: It’s possible that this new cut is weighing her hair down in certain places, which is preventing the ringlets. Perhaps you should go to a different stylist for a consultation. The good news is that hair grows back, so you don’t have to worry. Perhaps with a few long layers added, she will get her ringlets back!

Q:I have a 4-month old daughter with a head full of 3b/3c hair. I wash her hair once a week with baby shampoo, and use light grease on it. However, her hair seems to swallow it (the grease) whole. It leaves it very dry, hard to the touch and frizzy to the eye. I’ve been searching the Internet for some suggestions on what to use for her. And, because she is so young, I don’t want to use a lot of chemicals. Can you give any suggestions on what I can use to naturally inhance her curls and keep her hair growing healthy?

Cozy:You are smart to look for products that are formulated specifically for your young daughter. I recommend that you condition your daughter’s hair as often as possible. Try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner. It’s gentle enough for your baby, yet light enough that it won’t weigh down her hair. For added hydration, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In Conditioner. You can spray in wet or dry hair anytime you want to defrizz or soften hair.

Q: My daughter is 18 months old and biracial. She has beautiful curly hair, but I have NO experience with hair like hers. I would like to find a kid-friendly product that will help keep it moisturized and relatively tangle free. She complains bitterly whenever I try to comb it, even when I am very careful about not tugging. I am struggling with my mindset about how to care for hair because I realize that her hair and my hair need different attention. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cozy: Tangles are the No.1 problem we hear about in my salons, so much so that we actually created a product just to deal with them! Try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler. Apply to tangles in the tub and use a wide-tooth comb to get through knots. Make sure that when you comb her hair, work in 1-inch sections, starting from the bottom working your way up one inch at a time.

Q: My 3-year-old daughter’s hair has really started growing out and curling up more and more. I’m not sure what products are good on kids. It seems like we are stuck in ponytail mode. Her curls tend to get really dry toward the middle/end of the day. We both suffer from massive bed head in the morning even with the satin pillow case. It just sticks to our heads. Any ideas?

Cozy: I often recommend sleeping with a loose pony on top of the head. This helps solve two problems — bedhead and tangles. I would also recommend a good-leave in conditioner for the dried-out hair. You should try So Cozy Fruity Delight spray leave-in conditioner. You can use this in the morning to re-invigorate curls and to keep hair hydrated. This is also a great product to use on the go for touch-ups and for hair re-hydration during the day.

Q: My 9-year-old is really self conscious about her curly hair. She wears her hair the same way every single day because she’s afraid that trying something new will only end in disaster. Right now, she showers in the morning, brushes her hair and puts a headband in it. Then she applies a big helping of hair product. She says it stays really crunchy until about noon, but grows throughout the day until it’s huge and frizzy by the time she gets home from school. Any suggestions to help her feel some sense of control over her curls?

Cozy: All 9-year-old girls are so self-conscious about their hair. It’s so normal. The problem for your daughter is that she hasn’t yet learned the right way to control her hair. The worst thing you can do to curly hair is to brush it! It unsettles the cuticle and actually causes hair to look frizzy and fuzzy. Instead, encourage her to try this regimen. If she tries it on a weekend she’ll have more time to play around with different options and she’ll have no worries about going to school with her new look. Rather than brushing her hair when she comes out of the shower, she should comb out her hair in the shower with a wide-tooth comb with conditioner in it. After the shower, squeeze out excess water and scrunch in an alcohol-free styling Gel (try So Cozy Groovy Grape), distributing it evenly around the head. Let the hair dry naturally. Natural curls will settle and hair will not get frizzy. It may take some getting used to, but after a couple of weeks, her hair will settle into its own natural rhythm.

Q: My daughter has 3a, one-length hair. What do you think about bangs and curly hair? She’s ready for a change, and thinks bangs would be fun. But with all her curls and cowlicks, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.

Cozy: Bangs can be very tricky for curly girls, especially if she has cowlicks too. The bangs shrink up and can be very unpredictable. Rather than jump into bangs, perhaps she should consider a graduated cut on the sides. That is a nice alternative because it frames the face and isn’t so severe.

Q: My 3b daughter wants long hair so badly. Right now, it’s about shoulder length when it’s dry. Is there anything she can do to help speed up the hair growth process? And do you have style suggestions she can wear as she’s waiting for it to grow longer?

Cozy: I never understood this myself, but trimming the hair consistently really does help it to grow faster! Just a slight trim regularly will keep the hair healthy and encourage it to grow faster. As for styles, wearing the sides up is a great in-between option.

Q: My 3-year-old daughter can’t sleep without waking up looking like a wild animal. So basically, unless we’re willing to wash it the next day or pull it back in a ponytail, it looks like a total mess. Any tips to avoid bed head?

Cozy: I recommend wearing a loose pony to bed. It will keep hair from getting knotty and will help keep it under control, preventing bed head and other “wild” looks. If you still need a little touch-up even after the pony, try a little So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. That will help control and defrizz hair, yet keep it natural-looking, shiny and soft.

Q: I have one daughter with 2a hair, two daughters with 3b hair, and a son with 2c hair. I know not to brush their hair, and to detangle with a wide-toothed comb using conditioner on wet hair instead. I do that faithfully. However, I notice that even after washing and detangling my children have lint in their hair, especially at the ends, and this causes tangles and knots. Careful detangling with a wide-toothed comb and conditioner on wet hair and washing their scalp does not get rid of most of the lint that collects at the ends of their hair. I find myself wanting to use a baby brush (yes, the soft ones made for infants) in order to get the lint out. Even though I take my time to detangle four heads, and I’m very gentle, I do not want to cause damage with extra manipulation with the baby brush if it’s harmful to do so on wet or dry hair. Can you please recommend a way for me to keep tangles and knots at a minimum if I’m not supposed to brush curly hair, and if detangling and washing don’t get rid of most of the lint?

Cozy: It sounds like you are a very busy lady! You obviously have done your research when it comes to curly hair care. I’m impressed! I don’t understand though what you mean by lint. I’m not sure why your kids have lint in their hair if you are combing out the knots in the bath with conditioner in their hair. Perhaps you should look at your towels and bed linens to see if this is causing the problem.

Q: Can you explain the difference between your various conditioning products? I’m not sure how to choose between a regular conditioner, a leave-in conditioner and a styling gel that conditions.

Cozy: Great question! With the glut of products on the market, it can be very confusing. Basically, So Cozy offers different products that may overlap in use at times. This is because of the different hair types and the different ways that people use the products. For instance, some people like to use a conditioner in the tub daily, whereas others prefer to use a spray leave-in conditioner. Some with very dry hair like to use both! Using a styling product that conditions the hair is another way to help keep the hair hydrated and healthy. There is no right or wrong way to use these products; it’s very subjective. The best way to figure out what’s right for you is by trial and error. One helpful rule of thumb is the drier the hair, the more conditioning you need for healthy hair.

Q: I need to figure out what to do with my son’s hair, and fast. He used to have beautiful curls. I mean people used to stop him to comment on his curls. Now it just looks nappy and feels really dry. I am not sure what to put into his hair. He is 2 years old, with 4a/4b hair. He is all boy so he rolls and flips and just beats up his hair. Help!

Cozy: It is very common for a child’s hair type to change as he gets older. It doesn’t mean that he can’t have beautiful curls again. It just means you may need to care for it differently. First, don’t brush his hair because that will make it look “nappy”. Instead comb through his hair with a wide-tooth comb when wet (in the tub is ideal). Next, try using So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream on wet hair. Just “scrunch” into hair, evenly distributing all around. Let hair dry naturally (or use a blow-dryer with a diffuser attachment) to keep natural curls in tact. You can scrunch in a little more Styling Cream when dry to prevent frizz and to add shine. Good luck!

Q: My 3-year-old daughter lets me put conditioner in her hair, but she screams if I try to comb it wet. I explain it wouldn’t hurt if she let me get the tangles out in the bath, but she still doesn’t get it. It always looks a mess, with flyaways, knots and general craziness. What can I do to make it look ok?

Cozy: This is surely a phase (like everything else), so don’t be too concerned. In the meantime, use a spray detangler, like So Cozy Fruity Delight, to comb through your daughter’s knots before the tub. Continue to condition as usual. However, be sure that you don’t brush her hair after that. Let her hair dry naturally to keep the curls intact and to prevent frizz. You can use the So Cozy Fruity Delight in between baths too, to keep replenish moisture & to help with flyaways & tangles.

Q: My boys are 4 and 6, and they are curlies. The 4-year-old has fine hair like me, and the 6-year-old has very thick coarse hair. I am looking for a good gel that won’t flake. Any suggestions?

Cozy: Try using an alcohol free gel such as So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. The light formulation never flakes and is good for all types of hair. You can use more product for the thick, coarser hair for more control. It smells great, too!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: One of my 2-year-old twin daughters has spiral curls on the ends of her hair, and the roots seem rather straight. Her father has curly/wavy hair when it is long as is mine. My eldest has rather curly hair, and is a 3a. The twin’s sister is a 2b (non-identical). I cannot figure out what type of hair this twin has and how to care for it. I also think she needs is trimmed all over but my husband is afraid I would cut her curls out and they wouldn’t come back. Her hair has never been cut (except for trimming her fringe) and my poor hubby is afraid she will lose her precious curls. I wonder if her hair is weighing them down. Any suggestions?

Cozy: I can see why your husband is worried about losing those curls. They are adorable. It’s very possible that you may BOTH be right. Perhaps the weight of her hair is weighing down her fine hair or her baby hair may be curly but her new hair may be straighter. It’s hard to know. I recommend that you give her a trim and cut some long layers to help prevent weighing down the hair. No matter what, her hair will look better with a little shaping. I know your husband doesn’t want to lose those curls, but at some point he will have to give in to a trim!

Q: My son is 17 months old and has 2a/2b hair, and I’m not sure what to do with it. My mom, who has pin-straight hair, thinks I should cut it (it’s starting to mat and tangle in the back), and my husband, who has 2a hair when he grows it out, is beginning to agree. I just can’t bring myself to cut his beautiful curls! How do I get the most out of his beautiful waves and reduce the matting.

Cozy: It’s important to keep hair healthy and manageable by trimming regularly. But if you like his long curly hair, there’s no reason to cut it off! Instead, just make sure that you are detangling daily, because this will prevent it from becoming matted. Try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-tooth comb. Rinse. If you do this every day, hair will not get matted. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots.

Q: My daughter is 2 years old. She has a mix of 3b/3c hair. I’ve used Johnson’s and Johnsons and the detangling spray, but they actually tangle her hair more. She doesn’t have the patience to sit and let me comb it. I need help! When she was a baby I would use baby oil and water but I don’t think that would work right now. I hope you can help me.

Cozy: No two year old will have the patience to detangle! It can be long and painful. Instead, try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-toothed comb. It won’t take long, and she will be distracted in the tub and won’t even realize you are detangling. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots without fuss. One last tangle trick to prevent knots is to put her hair in a loose braid or pony, and always have her wear her hair up or back when doing activities that typically causes tangles, such as sports, playground, etc.

Q: My little curly gurly is turning two, and we’re having a birthday party. Any ideas on what to do with her hair? Her hair has a 3b-4a range.

Cozy: I have two words for you: SIMPLE and NATURAL! It’s hard to recommend a style without knowing more about your curly girl, but those two words of advice work for everyone. If you try to get too fancy or complicated, chances are it won’t stay in throughout the entire party and you’ll end up with something you wouldn’t have chosen. Also, you want your daughter to look like herself on this big day. Try pulling the front or sides back in a twist and securing with a great bow, fun clip or great headband. Afro puffs are also a cute style. My other advice is to experiment with her hair a few days in advance, not the morning of the party. The day of the party you want as few surprises as possible. Have fun!

Q: I am the dad of a 6-year-old daughter with VERY curly hair that I want to help her control because she cries when it is brushed. It’s just below her shoulders. Any suggestions?

Cozy: The first thing you need to know is that you should NEVER brush curly hair. Brushing it will ruffle the cuticle and cause it to look frizzy and fuzzy rather than curly. Instead, you should be combing hair in the tub with a wide-toothed comb. If you comb when you are conditioning her hair, the tangles will comb right out and there will be no discomfort, hence no tears! After the tub, wring out excess water and “scrunch” in a styling gel or cream. This will help prevent frizz and help keep curls smooth. I recommend my So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream.

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For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: My nephew is 18 months old. He is biracial — his mom is white with very thick, coarse, curly hair, and his dad is black with coarse very, very curly hair. My nephew has the craziest hair, and I’d like to help my sister tame it. She ends up having to chop it all off because it gets too out of control. Any suggestions?

Cozy: Don’t worry! At 18 months, a baby’s hair is still changing. Often, the combination of baby hair and the new texture that is growing in is what makes the hair so “crazy.” It’s best to keep it short at this age to keep him more comfortable. Once he starts to get a little older, a great alcohol-free gel will be extremely helpful in managing his hair.

Q: How do you keep a child still while you’re working on a hairstyle? Mine is so squirmy! She’s 3 and a live wire. I don’t even try elaborate styles — only puffs and twists. Is there a trick to getting children to sit for long periods of time? I want to try cute braided styles.

Cozy: Distraction, distraction, distraction! You can’t expect a squirmy child to sit still for anything unless they are focused on something fun. Prepare your ammunition — try styling in front of her favorite DVD, have a book (or two) on hand, some bubbles for her to blow, a musical instrument, crayons ot whatever else may hold her attention. Don’t be too ambitious at first. Continue with the simple styles until you become more successful with your styling sessions, and then gradually start with the braids. Eventually she may really look forward to it!

Q: I’m expecting a baby girl in one week. Any suggestions on what to wash/condition her hair. I’m assuming it will be curly eventually, and don’t want to start drying it out with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. Any advice would be great!

Cozy: It’s never too early to plan, although your baby may not even have any hair at first! When it is time to start shampooing, keep in mind that it is not necessary to shampoo daily. Once or twice a week is fine. You can always rinse baby’s head if you feel she needs a cleansing. When you do shampoo, be certain to use a tear free baby shampoo that is paraben-free. Parabens are synthetic preservatives that have been linked to cancer.

Q: My 13-month-old curly boy was lucky enough to be blessed with an abundance of hair. In my family, we don’t cut the hair until children are 1 so he’s got hair to his shoulders when wet and not even stretched. He’s got a curly afro when dry. Problem: I have to fight to comb his hair. I cornrow it from time to time, and it takes an hour for five or six measly braids. I let him wear the ‘fro, which my husband adores. But then it takes forever to detangle, and he cries and cries. I’m at my wit’s end! How much should a boy have to go through just to have his hair done?

Cozy: You are blessed; his hair sounds amazing! The best way to handle those tangles is to keep up with it daily. Start with So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment while in the tub. After shampooing, apply a generous amount (use more in the really tangled parts) and then easily comb through knots with a wide-toothed comb. Start at the ends, combing one inch at a time, working your way up the hair strand toward the scalp. Be sure to hold the top of the hair strand with the other hand so you don’t tug on the hair. Continue to work your way around the head. This process will help a lot. When there’s no time for the tub, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. You can use this on wet or dry hair and will help comb through those tangles in between baths.

Q: I have a 7-year-old daughter who refuses to take a bath more than twice a week. She has 3a curls, midway down her back, and I’m trying to find a strategy for keeping it looking good all week long. The first day or two, she can wear it down because the curls look really defined, but then it gets puffier and puffier.

Cozy: Sounds like you need something in between baths to reactivate those curls. You can use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. Not only will it reactivate the curls, but it will condition and replenish the moisture in her hair. An extra added benefit is that it will help deal with snarls too! You can use on wet or dry hair.

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: I have a 5-year-old with long, 3a curls. I need ideas for some fancy styles for parties.

Cozy: Keep in mind that “fancy” doesn’t have to be complicated! Simple styles will likely hold up longer and will be much easier to execute nicely. Try a simple French twist or twist the sides of the hair and leave the back down for a half-up style. Cute bows, clips or headbands always help add fun style. Most important, practice styles in advance — never right before the event!

Q: Does hair change? I was totally expecting to have a 4a cutie like mommy, and ended up with a 3b-3c cutie like nobody I know. This totally threw me for a loop. So I’m wondering if this is just her baby hair or the way her hair is going to be. She was born with this head of hair and this texture, and now she is 6 months old and it hasn’t changed.

Cozy: Yes, hair does change throughout your life, especially in the early years. Your cutie’s hair will continue to change, but it is unpredictable in that way!

Q: My little girl is a 3b. When her hair is wet, it has really nice curls. But when it’s dry, it looks dry and messy. What do I do to control her wild hair?

Cozy: This is a very common problem for curly hair. It happens when hair is dry and the cuticle becomes ruffled. There are two things I recommend. First, it is critical that you replenish moisture to her hair. Use a thick, creamy conditioner with natural moisturizers to replenish thirsty hair and help to prevent it from drying out. I recommend So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner, which contains almond oil to hydrate hair. Next, use an alcohol-free styling gel after conditioning to keep cuticle smooth and hair shiny. So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel is a light formulation that won’t weigh hair down and will be great to prevent frizz.

Q: I have a very active 8-year-old. She’s in gymnastics, dance and constantly on the go. Her long 3a hair can get really tangled. What are some strategies to keep her hair looking its best while she’s whizzing from one activity to another?

Cozy: It’s important that you comb out the tangles daily so they don’t build up. An easy way to stay on top of this is to use So Cozy Pre-Detangling Treatment in the tub. Use a generous amount and then comb out hair in the tub with the Pre-Detangling treatment in her hair. This will prevent painful comb-outs. Next, make sure that your daughter wears her hair up on busy days. This will help prevent tangles for such an active girl.

Q: How do I prepare my 2-year-old daughter for her first haircut. She gets really anxious about everything, and I want this to be a good experience or she may never go to get another haircut.

Cozy: The first haircut can be a rather hair-raising experience for both you and your child, but it can also be a lot of fun. You are smart to prepare in advance! First, decide whether you are going to do it at home or take her to a professional. Either way, it will be a special occasion. Here are some tips to make that first haircut less stressful, whether it happens at home or the salon:

• Make sure to choose a good time of day for the haircut. Avoid nap time or meal time when your child is less likely to cooperate and may be cranky.
• Choose a stylist who enjoys working with children. Call the salon in advance to find out who the right stylist will be.
• Distraction, distraction, distraction! If you’re not going to a children’s salon, bring your own distractions. A book, toy, DVD, healthy snack or treat will keep your child’s attention so there’s less chance of your child getting upset.
• Bring a spare t-shirt in case your child doesn’t want to wear a cape. This way you can easily change her when haircut is over.
• Never refer to it as a hair CUT! This can sound very scary for a child. Instead call it a trim.
• Try to get an idea of what type of haircut you are looking for in advance. Look through magazines and tear out photos to help tell stylists what you want.
  Spray comb with water rather than spraying water directly on child’s hair. That can be scary for children not knowing what to expect.
• Don’t forget to save the first lock of hair for your scrapbook.
• Try not to be too nervous. Children pick up on this and will feel nervous because you are!
• Enjoy!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.