Cozy Friedman

Dear Cozy: My 15-month-old son is biracial and his hair is very curly but also very dry/brittle/frizzy. I’m not sure what my routine should look like or what child-safe products I should be using. From reading tonight, I do know I need to stop washing his hair so much and also get him a satin blanket for the crib and scarf for the car seat. Can you help?

A: You are off to a great start already by just decreasing the frequency of shampooing! The next step will be to start using conditioner as much as possible. It can be tricky with a 15-month-old, because you obviously don’t have unlimited time to condition and rinse after doing the same with shampoo. I recommend that you use a 2 in 1 Shampoo & Conditioner, in order to maximize your time. Try So Cozy Tropical Fruit Conditioning Shampoo. In between days when you aren’t shampooing, be sure to use a leave-in conditioner. So Cozy Fruity Delight is great because it’s a spray-in, so it’s very easy to apply and it smells absolutely delicious, so your son will actually like it!

Dear Cozy: My daughter is biracial. My 2 1/2-year-old daughter’s hair is pretty managable but since it has started growing it seem the hair on the crown will not define like the rest of the hair. It gets frizzy. I have add more leave-in but it still gets frizzy only on the top. Why is this?

A: It’s not unusual for toddlers to have more than one type of hair texture, as new hair is growing in. The key is to do what you are already doing—treating it differently than the rest of the hair. I would recommend using a little lightweight styling gel to help define and hold the curls. Be sure to use an alcohol-free gel such as So Cozy Groovy Grape so that hair does not get dried out.

Dear Cozy: My daughter has got a ton of curly hair, and since she is only 3 years old, it is up to me to do her hair and I want to do it right. She is mixed, white/Hispanic, and I think she is a 3c, very tight, fine curls and lots of them. My problem is what do I do with her hair each day? It looks great after we wash it. I leave in conditioner and comb out the tangles and that’s it. However, the next morning it is crazy and since we only wash it about once or twice a week she only has one good hair day. Now she is only 3 so she could care less but soon enough she will be all about her hair and I would like to know how to take care of it and how to keep the tangles out when she sleeps. Any suggestions are appreciated, especially since I have straight hair and absolutely no help for her. I am learning as we go along! Thank you!

A: It’s fantastic that you don’t over-wash her hair! That’s the most common mistake I see with parents. In between shampoos and conditioning you will need to redefine the curls (remove the frizz). It’s not complicated—you just really need to find the right product for her hair. My first thought is that a spray leave-in conditioner will do the trick, since you had good results from your conditioner. Spray So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner throughout her hair, making it slightly damp and then “scrunch” curls with your hands to help redefine the curls and remove frizz. It really only takes a couple minutes and it will be easy for your daughter to do herself when she’s a little older.

Dear Cozy: I am the mother of a beautiful 8 1/2-year-old who will only wear a ponytail. She has 3b hair underneath and most of her hair around the top from the middle of the head up is probably 3c and fuzz. Two years ago I had her hair relaxed and only touched up once. She only has about one inch of straight left on the ends. Mostly her hair just turned back curly as the relaxer didn’t seem permanent in places. It was a Mizani relaxer done at a salon. Her hair has changed. I used to be able to let her wear some curls but now it is just per fuzz. I have used all sorts of products—none of them seem to last on her hair.

I really want to know about braids. I don’t have experience with them being a redhead with board straight hair. I had an African American woman tell me once to never never braid my daughter’s hair. She said it will pull it out and make sores on her head. I can french braid but she has breakage from wearing it all these years in one ponytail that it never stays put. I have often pulled it up it two high ponytails on her head then turned each ponytail into two braids, French braided it and various other things and the moment she hits school, she takes it down and puts it into one ponytail.

Any suggestions? Types of braids or products people can’t live without? Right now we use Mizani shampoo, Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Conditioner and plain old shea butter. I have used Mixed Chicks, Carol’s Daughter, Paul Mitchell and the list goes on.

A: The way I see it, you have two issues. First, you are definitely in the “in-between” stage where you really need to let her hair grow out and get rid of the damaged hair caused by the chemicals in the relaxer. Unfortunately, there’s no way around it. Time and using a great, thick creamy conditioner will help. (Try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner). The other issue as I see it is that you and your daughter need to be more in agreement. If you are doing her hair and then she is re-doing it when she gets to school, it doesn’t do either of you any good (and it’s not great for her hair either). There comes a time when you have to let children be themselves and wear their hair the way that makes them feel comfortable and good about themselves. I cannot begin to tell you how often I see this issue in my salons and it happens at all different ages depending on the child. I’m not recommending that you give up and just let her wear the pony, but maybe if you can find out what it is about the pony that makes her feel so comfortable, you will be able to use that information to figure out and work with her on another style that you will both be happy. Look at magazines and on the web to find style ideas. I have a book coming out soon that will have all the styles and instructions to get the looks. Stay tuned to NaturallyCurly for info on book release date. Lastly, braids are fine as long as she doesn’t only wear it braided and you don’t pull them too tight.

Dear Cozy: My daughter will be 10 at the end of this month and I want to start teaching her to care for her hair. I have on occasion let her rinse her deep conditioner out while she was in the shower (actually once ) and she has been begging to keep doing every since. So my question is 10 to young? I will of course be assisting her, and I’m not sure that I would actually let her do her weekly co-washes alone, but maybe rinsing her DT’s and showing her how to detangle.

A: I think it’s wonderful that she wants to take an active role in her grooming, and by all means you should allow it! There’s no reason that you can’t do a quick check when she’s finished, just to be sure she rinsed thoroughly. I would seize the moment and take this opportunity to teach her about proper grooming. Enjoy — this is special time between a mother and a daughter that you will both remember for the rest of your lives!

Dear Cozy: My daughter is 2 and has curly, wavy and even some hair that seems straight. Almost her entire canopy is straight/wavy but her hair underneath is very curly. I really have no idea where the straight hair came from, but there it is! Anyway, she is due for a trim soon and I was debating whether to let them give her bangs. It isn’t something I’ve ever thought about before, as I haven’t had bangs since I was a teenager in the 80s, but a few people have mentioned that she would look cute with them.

I get her hair trimmed every few months so the ends stay healthy, but am letting it grow out so I ask them not to cut more than 1/4″ off at a time (unfortunately, the last person who cut her hair cut off way too much and now it’s back to the length it was 6 months ago–UGH). With her curl/wave pattern being something I have no experience with, I don’t really know what would be a good cut for her. So I just have the ends trimmed and that’s it.

A: It’s difficult to make a recommendation as to a hairstyle without actually seeing her hair, but I do have some advice. First, you should know that a variety of hair types is quite common for young children. This is because baby hair is growing out and new hair is growing in. Very often, children’s hair type changes as they age (same with adults). My guess is that the “newer” hair growth, is likely to be the way her hair will be for the near future. A great option that is very in-style right now is side bangs. You can see on TV and in the movies that it’s the new, hot style. It’s not as drastic as cutting bangs, as they are longer and not as blunt and thus easier to grow in if you aren’t happy with it.

Dear Cozy: I need to find some products that might work for my 3-year-old daughter. I don’t know what is worse — the summer with the pool or the winter with the heat on. I have stopped shampooing and have been braiding to keep it so it doesn’t mat up. What’s your routine? From shampoo and product to second day hair? What leave-in should I use. I haven’t been using any. Suggestions… I am open and willing for anything right now.

A: I definitely recommend using products that are formulated specifically for children’s hair. You are absolutely right, it’s hard to say which is harder on your hair—summer or winter?! So Cozy Hair Care for Children has products that will address all of your child’s needs. Try the Green Apple Swimmer’s Shampoo in the summer and the Sweet Strawberry Conditioner in the winter. Use the Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner all year round. Sleeping with a loose braid or pony will help prevent matting, but for heavy duty detangler, try combing out her hair with a wide-toothed comb in the tub with So Cozy Lucky Lime PreDetangling Cream.

Dear Cozy: My daughter will soon be 6 yearss old and she is starting to lose her curls. I just started the shampoo free method one month ago. She is still losing curl definition in the back by the end of the day. She also has back-of-hair frizz. I figure hair weight may be an issue. She is a 2b, 2c, 3a parts with thick medium/coarse hair. She use to be 3a-3b. Her last hair cut almost left the back in a barely 2a, with loss of ringlets even in the nape area. Ideas?

A: There are 2 possibilities as to what’s going on with your daughter’s hair. The first possibility is that her haircut is lacking layers, which means it’s weighing down her curls. The more likely possibility however, is that her hair texture is changing and she won’t be a curly girl for much longer. It’s quite common for a child’s hair type to change as they get older, which is usually much harder for parents to face than the kids!

So Cozy Pre-Detangling Treatment

Q: I have twin 2-year-old daughters. One of them has long, luscious hair past her shoulders (ringlets around her head, of course, but stretches reach past her shoulders) and the other has hair long on the sides, but short in the back. At first I figured it was from sleeping on her back so I changed their sheets and their pillow cases to satin. Their hair is finally long enough to keep in just one pony tail so I do that every day. It does WONDERS for tangles, since their hair is very fine and tangles very easily, I only leave it loose for special occasions or when they are home with me.

For a few months now I’ve noticed that Alina’s hair is longer and thicker than Alex’s hair. I figured that although they are identical, it won’t be EXACTLY the same. However, now there are chunks of hair coming out whenever I comb her hair. This doesn’t happen to Alina. Not one strand! So I called the doctor. The doc said it was from the pony tails, and although I didn’t think so, Alina’s was thinning in the hair line too and that some kids lose more than others from the pony tail. So, I left their hair loose two days in a row, and they both lost more hair this way than they ever did with a pony tail while I combed it out.

Cozy: Yes, it’s fairly common to see damage to hair from pony tails if you are always placing the elastics in the same places or if you are wearing elastics too tight. Putting hair back definitely helps prevent tangles but perhaps you should try a loose braid or alternating the styles so hair doesn’t get damaged.

Q: My 2-year-old has curly hair. When wet, it is half-way down her back. When dry, it barely covers her shoulders. I am having a difficult time keeping tangles away. Have been washing it only when I must, and using a baby conditioner on her hair every time I bathe her. But the biggest problem right now is that it becomes severely knotted every time she rides in her car seat—and has recently started breaking off in back. TONS of tiny little knots. Sometimes I am forced to cut them out, as I cannot remove them even after oiling her hair. Any advice on how to prevent the car seat problem? General advice on hair products?

Cozy: The challenge with tangles is that it’s a never-ending job! It’s the type of thing you must stay on top of daily, or else you get to the point of no return (cutting the tangles out with a scissor)! First, I recommend that you put your daughter’s hair up prior to her riding in her car seat. You can do a pony tail, pigtails or braid—just be sure to keep hair pulled back to prevent from tangling. Next, for hair that tangles so easily, be sure to detangle DAILY! For painless tangle removal, try So Cozy Pre-Detangling Treatment when your daughter bathes. Apply a liberal amount and comb through with a wide tooth comb. Doing this frequently will detangle as well as help prevent future tangles. Good luck!

Q: My 14-year-old son won’t stop scratching his scalp. I have tried SLS-free shampoos, but my son continues to have dandruff and itch all day. He has a very dry scalp. Please help.

Cozy: I recommend that you talk to his pediatrician. This may be just a common case of dandruff, that would be solved with a dandruff shampoo. A doctor will help rule out psoriasis or eczema, which are also quite common.

Q: My 5-year-old daughter has very thick 3c/4a hair. It is a hassle to detangle her hair. What product is a good detangler? Here is her normal regimen.

li class=”pink”>Shampoo with Kinky Curly Come Clean

li class=”pink”>Condition/detangle with Kinky Curly Knot Today (but it seems to just dry her hair out making it look dull)

li class=”pink”>I keep it braided up in ponytails for a protective style, which lasts about 2-3 weeks. Should I even be using products on her hair since she is just 5? Thanks in advance.



Cozy: Keeping your daughter’s thick, curly hair detangled must be quite a challenge! There are actually two important parts to dealing with tangles. First, you have to deal with removing the knots and second, trying to prevent the knots! So, to start you need a really great detangler. Try So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler. It was designed to be used in the tub with a wide-toothed comb. Comb will slide through tangles without fuss. Work on 1” sections, and holding hair strand with one hand, start combing from the bottom of the hair strand, working your way up the strand, 1” at a time.

Now, to prevent knots, spray hair with So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. Keeping your daughter hair in braids will definitely help prevent tangles; just try to try different styles and placements so that hair doesn’t get damaged from tight braids and elastics.

Q: I’ve been trying to figure out the best combo for my daughter’s hair. I think she has 3a hair. It used to be straight on top until we started going no ‘poo, and now it has curled some on top — more of a wave. The main problem I’m having is that her hair looks weighty on top by the end of the day if I don’t pull her hair back. I’m concerned that the conditioner is weighing her roots down.

Cozy: Your daughter’s problem may be partially caused by conditioner that’s weighing down her hair if not properly rinsed, but it may also be caused by her haircut. Perhaps take her to a trusted hair stylist and ask about giving her long layers to prevent the flatness on top.

Q:My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp, and her hair is extremely dry. AND we have do another session in 10 days. Are there any safe alternatives?

Cozy:What I have found over the years is that different people have VERY different feelings about how to contend with lice. Some people have no problem using chemicals to get rid of lice, while others would never use chemicals and prefer to use natural alternatives. I recommend that you educate yourself from as many different sources as possible to find the manner that best aligns with your own personal philosophy about health and wellness. There’s a lot of information online, and I also encourage you to talk to your pediatrician about this.

Q: I have a precious 5-year-old daughter. She is biracial (black/white) and she has very soft curly hair. I need help with which products I should be using in her hair.

Mom needs help with selecting products for her 5-year-old daughter.

It’s hard to make a product recommendation without understanding what the problem is and what you feel you need help with. I suspect that her hair is on the dry side and that she would benefit greatly from moisturizing. She would certainly benefit from a thick and creamy conditioner (So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner), as well as a spray leave- in conditioner. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In Conditoner & Detangler. This will keep her hair detangled as well as deliver the hydration her hair needs. Her hair is gorgeous!!

Q:My daughter is almost 8 with 3c hair. I have been trying to get rid of the frizz, I have been frustrated for some time. She is a a stage where she wants to comb her hair and play with it several times a day. I feel that if I keep telling her to stop playing with her hair that she is going to start to hate it. I just do not know what to do.

Cozy: Typically I receive questions about what to do with their kids who won’t comb their hair, so this is a welcome change! It’s wonderful that your daughter has taken such an interest in her grooming, but like anything else, all things are best in moderation! I suspect that this is just a phase, and the intensity of it will pass when she moves on to the next phase.

As for the frizz, combing and brushing curly hair will make it frizzy because it ruffles the cuticles, which is what makes it look fuzzy. Perhaps you can teach her how to work with her hair in a way that will look better and not make it frizzy. Also, if she is experimenting with styles like braids and ponies, that can help make it look better and keep frizz at bay.

Q: My youngest daughter has curly hair — little ringlets. It is starting to get a little frizzy around the top of her head. I need to know what products to get for her hair and how to use them. Please tell me more about how to care for her hair. I’m very new to curls. I have hair that is only curly underneath and have never been able to do anything with it. So I wear a ponytail every day! Thanks for helping a newbie!

Cozy: I’d recommend a light styling cream for her fine hair. You don’t want to use anything heavy or thick because that will weigh her fine hair down and will end up taking away the gorgeous curls. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after bathing. Just “scrunch” in a quarter size amount, distributing evenly around the hair. You can also use on dry hair in between baths as a touch up. Use a little less on dry hair.

Q: I have an 11-year-old daughter with hair that has been giving me a headache for the past five years. It’s super thick and looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket! When she gets out of the shower, she has very pretty ringlets. But once it dries, it pops up into a frizz nest. I am clueless about what to put in her hair and how to style it. She just puts it in a ponytail. The ends are really dry and I have tried everything I can think of. I have straight hair so I don’t know what to do to help her.

Cozy: The goal is to lock in those gorgeous ringlets that you see after she showers. Try an alcohol-free gel like So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. This will help to keep the cuticle smooth, which is what prevents frizz. You can experiment with how much to use, starting with a quarter-size “scrunched” in evenly throughout her hair. My secret tip for dried-out ends is to use a thick and creamy conditioner (try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner) and not completely rinse out of the ends of the hair. This will help to lock in extra moisture that is needed to hydrate the dried-out hair.

Q: I have straight hair, but my kids have very curly hair, courtesy of their dad. A “friend” of mine told me that every picture she sees of my children, they look wild! I do admit I don’t brush their hair a lot, as its always such a battle, gets very tuggy and I feel awful doing it. So normally it’s only been shampooed and conditioned. Their dad is no use because he doesn’t do anything to his! It’s always frizzy, too. How do I tame the curls? Should I brush daily? What products could I use?

Cozy: This brings back memories! My hair was the same crazy hair you are describing. Good news—there is a way to deal with this that won’t be a battle and will solve your problems!

Don’t try to comb or brush their hair when it’s dry. Instead, get a wide-toothed detangling comb and keep it in the tub. Get So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler, which was created to be used in the tub after shampooing. You can use this instead of your regular conditioner or in addition to it (extra moisturizer is always great for curly kids). Apply a generous amount and comb through hair and tangles. After bathing, “scrunch” in a light styling cream to avoid frizz. Let hair dry naturally (or if you need to blow dry hair, always use a diffuser).

Q: I’m Irish with straight, very thin, naturally red hair—but my daughter seems to have inherited my grandfather’s semi-curly hair! So, blondish curls on top (wispy—kind of poodle like), easy-to-see-layers that I think will be wavy on the sides. I’m kinda
at a loss as to how to care for it. My questions are:

1. Shampoo suggestions? Mommy blogs have recommended The Original Little Sprout – Moisturizing Baby Shampoo. I have to wash it every night because she’s a messy eater.
2. What kind of hair brush? (And where to buy)
3. Is brushing curly different than brushing straight hair? I feel like I’m flattening her curls, which I don’t want to do… I just want to remove any tangles.

Cozy: You are right, brushing her curls isn’t the way to go. Instead, use a wide-toothed comb in the tub when you condition. This will remove the tangles and neaten things up. If you let her hair dry naturally, her natural curl will develop. The wavy hair on the sides will likely start to shape up a little. As for shampoo, I recommend So Cozy Very Berry Tear Free Shampoo; it was formulated specifically for children with 11 herbal extracts, including comfrey (soothes and protects) and horsetail (critical to hair growth). Plus, it smells so good that kids love to use it!

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Q: I know it’s probably way too early to tell and her hair texture will probably change, but I can’t tell the difference between curls and cowlicks. I have 2 boys — one with thick, coarse, straight hair, and the other with fine hair that would probably be wavy if it were longer. My baby girl is 8 months old now with fine hair that is a lot thinner than either of the boys. She has a few areas in the front on the right side and on the back left that seem to stick up more than they did when they were shorter. How do I tell whether she’s going to have beautiful curls, or whether she’s going to be fighting cowlicks her whole life?

Cozy: A cowlick is hair that grows in a circular direction, so you can tell a cowlick by looking at the roots to see which direction the hair is growing. The most typical problem with cowlicks is that the hair sticks up. To prevent this, don’t cut the cowlick short, that’s what makes it stick up. Instead, when cutting hair, leave the cowlick longer than the rest of the hair. Also, don’t fight with the cowlick. Comb it in the direction it is growing.

Q: We have been waiting for my daughter to finally get some hair, but now that it is here, I am finding it to be crazy frizzy and hard to manage. The products I have tried are not really working anymore. I know this is just going to get harder to manage as her hair keeps growing unless I start with the product modification now. Her hair is very fine and very frizzy — possibly a 3A. I’d love some product recommendations.

Cozy: Finding the right products will be a trial and error process for your daughter, just like it is for you! I definitely recommend using products formulated specifically for children so that they will address your daughter’s needs. For fine hair, you don’t want to weigh it down with heavy products. So Cozy has 2 different products that should help prevent frizz and manage hair. Try Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. You can use it on wet or dry hair. Just scrunch it into her hair anytime you need to remove frizz or help to redefine the curls. You can also try Groovy Grape Alcohol Free Styling Gel. Use a little or a lot, depending on the amount of hold she requires.

Q: I need help/advice for my daughter’s hair. She is a 3c/4a and 9 years old. Her hair is very long — at least mid-back. She is not able to do her own hair yet. At what age should daughters be able to wash/condition/comb/style their own hair? She has a few more years until she will be totally independent, but in the meantime she should be learning good grooming habits and taking part in her own grooming.

Cozy: I recommend practicing in the evenings or weekends when you have spare time. Never try to teach her when you are rushing to get her to school or in a hurry. Having time to experiment and make mistakes will take the stress out of the grooming process.

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp, and her hair is extremely dry. AND we have do another session in 10 days. Is there a safer alternative?

Cozy: If you go online and search for lice remedies, you will notice that there are many different schools of thought on how to deal with lice, and this really has to do with your own personal philosophy regarding treatments. I recommend you look at all the alternatives on line and then discuss with your pediatrician.

Q: I have recently came to realize how naturally curly hair is beautiful. and how I was taught for so many years that natural hair is bad. My sister in law is the same way, and always wants to straighten my niece’s hair. I am trying to convince her to love it and stop combing. What suggestions can I give her so she can work with her daughter’s hair rather than fighting it. I feel like my niece could learn to embrace her natural texture if her mom was more positive about it.

Cozy: I wish someone would have taught me this lesson when I was a child. It would have saved me thousands of hours with a blow dryer trying to tame my curly hair and frizz! Perhaps you can style your niece’s hair and show your sister how beautiful her natural curls are! Make sure you never brush curly hair, and only comb it out in the tub. After bathing, scrunch hair with Styling Cream or Gel to enhance curls and keep frizz free. Let hair dry naturally or blow dry with diffuser. When hair is dry, re-scrunch with head upside down to add body and volume. You can also do this with a little styling cream to smooth hair. Good luck!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp and her hair is extremely dry. And we have do another session in 10 days. Are there any alternatives that are safe and effective?

Cozy: There are many different philosophies about how to deal with lice. Some people do not believe in using pesticides and some do. Some believe in smothering the lice, and some don’t. It really is a personal choice. Your best bet is to consult your pediatrician to see what the options are. When you do finally rid your child of lice, use a lot of heavy-duty moisturizing to rehydrate the dried-out hair. I would recommend not completely rinsing the conditioner out of your daughter hair when she bathes and use BOO! Leave-In Conditioner daily to prevent lice from coming back. It is all natural, paraben free and safe to use daily.

Q: I’ve got a question about morning frizz. My 10-year-old daughter has fine 3a hair. She wears her hair braided for bed, but the hairs around her face escape and she wakes with a halo of frizz. Currently, she dampens it down and brushes it into submission for her school plaits. I’ve read that brushing isn’t good, so what do you do with children’s morning frizz?

Cozy: You are right — brushing hair isn’t good for curly hair, and will only create frizz by ruffling the cuticle. Instead, spray in So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler and “scrunch” hair to reactivate her natural curl and remove frizz.

Q: My 2-year-old old daughter has very curly hair. I used to mostly put it in pig tails but lately she has lost patience with that idea! I have just been combing it out with a wide-toothed comb while I have conditioner all over it and then again once I rinse it out. I pat it a little to dry (just so it isn’t dripping) and then put product on it. Then I put on one of her head bands and usually a bow. This photo was taken recently (I must not have washed it that morning; it is less frizzy on wash days). I have been thinking lately that maybe I should get her hair cut so that it has more of a style. Any suggestions? She has never even had a trim. When her hair is wet it is just past her shoulders.

Cozy: I think her hair is adorable! If you do want to cut it, make sure you go to someone who really understands curly hair, regardless of whether you are going for a trim or a real change. If it’s cut properly, it will grow into a nice shape and style.

Q: I’m a curly teen who recently discovered how to take care of my hair and who just got my first curly haircut! It was a fantastic moment and I’m definitely happy for finding a salon that understands my hair type. The bad news is that my cut cost $60. I’ve never had a cut over $30, and since I’m only 15, my parents are obviously supporting me in my financial needs (haha, nice way of putting it, I think!). My dad doesn’t at all understand the importance of taking care of my hair. When he found out about this Web site he thought I was being narcissistic! How can I explain to him that taking care of my hair is something important, and not some self-indulgent thing? And when I need to get my haircuts, how can I convince him to let me go to a salon that understands curly hair, even if it’s a little more expensive?

Cozy: I wish that I would have understood my curly hair when I was a teenager! It would have saved me many hours chained to my blow dryer trying to straighten out my frizzy hair! It’s wonderful to hear that you have embraced your curls! I have a few ideas to help you solve your problems. First, perhaps you can offer to split the cost of the expensive with your parents, using babysitting or allowance money. Maybe your father will respect your choice once he sees how important it is to you that you are willing to spend your own money. Another option is to find another stylist in a less expensive salon. Plenty of stylists know how to cut curly hair. You may find a recommendation by asking a person with great curly hair where they get their haircut! Lastly, perhaps you can go to your curl stylist less often, and fill in at a less expensive salon in between visits.

Q: My daughter is almost 10, and I have noticed in the past year or so that her hair seems go be changing. I would say she has about 2c hair all over, but lately in the root area, it is more like a 3c. Her hair is very kinky, curly and frizzy at the roots and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I am happy with the way she’s looking, but the frizz in the roots is driving both of us crazy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Cozy: It is quite common for a person’s hair texture to change over the years. You may be right that her is actually changing now. Frizzy hair is caused by the cuticle being unsettled. To prevent this from happening, use a styling aid that will settle the cuticle, such as So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. It’s perfect for this particular situation because it is light enough that it won’t weigh the hair down too much or make the roots look greasy. A small amount evenly distributed through her hair should do the trick!

Q: My 4.5 yr olds are really curly and have very different curl types. One is a 3a, the other a 3c like her mommy but with much more fragile hair. I can’t seem to find specific recommendations for kids curls by type. I can say that the 3a doesn’t do well with gel, and the 3c needs a little more hold but gel makes her hair a bit stiff. I don’t mind getting different products for them. Any suggestions?

Cozy: It will always be trial and error when dealing with styling products! You may even find that a styling gel from one company may work fine for your daughter’s hair, but from another it’s not right. You should look for a gel that is alcohol-free so it won’t dry out the hair, Try So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. It’s a light formulation so it won’t make hair look stiff or wet and you can use more or less to suit your style. For finer hair, So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream is great because it won’t weigh down the hair but will help defrizz and control. You can use on wet or dry hair. You may also find that different products will work differently depending on the time of year and the weather.

Q: I have an 8-year-old daughter with beautiful (3b) curly hair. I recently met a woman who told me about NaturallyCurly.com, and WOW!, I’m so excited. What I’d like to know, and can’t seems to find on the site, is a good regimen for her hair. I’m never really sure how often to shampoo her hair, and or if we should go the no-poo route. Do you think that you could give me advice for proper curly hair treatment?

Cozy: You have definitely come to the right place! You are very smart to start a proper regiment now while she is young. Different people have different philosophies about what type of formulation to use. I recommend using something as gentle as possible, with vitamins and minerals and I suggest staying away from parabens (synthetic preservatives that may be quite harmful), like So Cozy products. As for the curly hair regimen, if she has beautiful curly hair already, it sounds like whatever you are doing, you should keep doing! A few tips: never brush curly hair, it causes frizz by ruffling the cuticle, comb out tangles with wide tooth comb while bathing with conditioner in hair, lastly, spray in a leave in conditioner in the morning and “scrunch” hair to reactivate curls. We love So Cozy Fruity Delight.

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: I want to let my daughter’s hair dry naturally. When it warms up it won’t be an issue and she can bathe in the morning. In the past, she takes an evening shower or bath in the winter months, and just goes to bed with wet hair. Sure it would be perfect if we could take care of it after school so she could have time for her hair to dry before bed time. But this just isn’t possible many nights. She also doesn’t like the blow dryer so I rarely use one. Is it okay to sleep on her wet hair if she has curls?

Cozy: Of course it would be ideal if everyone with curly hair always had time to let their hair dry naturally in order to allow the natural curl to form. However, we all know that isn’t the case! So, in the morning, you need to re-activate your daughter’s natural curls. When your daughter wakes up, try spraying So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner into her hair and then “scrunch” the hair. This should help reactivate the curls and get rid of the frizz that occurred from the movement in her sleep. Since it’s a leave-in conditioner, it will help keep hair hydrated too.

Q: I have a 2.5-year-old daughter with beautiful, but very fine and very curly hair. It’s very hard for me to keep her hair looking nice since she often twists her hair (making nasty knots) and she has a large spot on the back of her head that gets rubbed from pillows/carseats/etc. and thus it stays frizzy. I work very hard on her and it looks nice for about two hours. I know things will be easy when she’s old enough to help me care for it, but I need some major advice. I am considering getting her hair cut so that at least I don’t have has much hair to work with when I’m trying to get the knots out.

Cozy: Many people do in fact keep hair short to keep hair more manageable for younger children. However, you don’t have to go this route. Of course it will be more maintenance with longer hair, but that’s up to you decide how much time and energy you want to put into her hair. If you decide not to cut it, I recommend experimenting with putting her hair up in different styles. This will help prevent knots as well as discourage her from twisting her hair. Additionally, it will help prevent hair from rubbing in her car seat, etc., so frizz won’t be as much of a problem. Ponytails and braids are great alternatives, and stay neater longer.

Q: I need help with how to deal with both the dryness and tangling of my daughter’s hair. She is 10, so you’d think I’d have figured this out. But since I see grown women still trying to master their curls, I am not feeling so bad that I haven’t gotten this completely down! Her hair is coarse, like most curly hair. But it is actually pretty thin in density. She has spiral coiled hair. Also, she has some layers in it. My problem is that I cannot seem to find leave-in hair products to stop the dryness. Her hair is horribly dry, and she gets the worst tangles and knots. I am assuming the dryness is a contributor to the knots. It takes us a good 15 minutes or longer to untangle her mess — particularly underneath in back. She wears so many ponytails because I just don’t have time before school to deal with it. She uses a satin pillowcase, and we try to put loose scrunchie ponytails in at night. We only wash once a week and intensely condition with heat once a month. I only ever detangle when her hair is wet LOADED with conditioner, and I use a wide-toothed comb. I get it detangled to a point where I can run a fine-toothed comb through it (while wet and conditioned) with ease. So I am getting the knots out. I let it dry from near-soaking wet and do not towel dry or blow dry it. But by the next day, it is a wreck again. Help!

Cozy: You are doing a terrific job with your daughter’s tricky hair, and you are absolutely right that many adults don’t know how to deal with their curls, so you are many steps ahead! It sounds like you are doing the right treatments. Perhaps you just haven’t found the right hydrating product yet. You need to keep her hair as hydrated as possible. For ultra-dry hair, I have a secret tip. When you conditioner her hair, try leaving in a nickel-size amount of conditioner in it rather than rinsing it all out. This will help keep hair moisturized. I recommend So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner> It’s so thick and creamy, yet it won’t weigh hair down. Also keep in mind that there is no magical treatment that you can do once a week that will help you. It’s like making your bed. You need to do it everyday otherwise it’s a mess. Good luck!

Q: First of all, I want to point out that my 2-year-old daughter has extra-dry hair. I can’t tell if it’s a 3a or 3b, but it is rather dry. I’ve been getting it to look and feel more like it has some sheen with the help of oils and conditioners. But I don’t know if that’s a bad approach. I do use regular baby shampoo for her as well, and I don’t shampoo her hair every day. She has this extra stubborn dry spot located at the bottom, back of her hair. I do use a lot of conditioner in that spot and it usually helps for a while, but it can build up after a while. Since it’s not breaking off or anything (just growing rather slowly), I must be doing the right thing by keeping it conditioned as much as possible. Or am I? Is it common for toddlers to have a particular spot in their hair and scalp that seems considerably dryer that the rest of the hair?

Cozy: It’s not clear to me if it’s her hair or her scalp that is considerably drier in one particular spot. In either case, it’s not uncommon for a toddler to have multiple textures of hair or dry patches of scalp. If it’s the scalp, I recommend having your pediatrician take a look. If it’s her hair, continue to use a lot of conditioner, especially a leave-in conditioner. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight. You can use it as often as you like and will actually help hair look better while it’s conditioning, and to help prevent tangles at the same time.

Q: My little baby doll is quickly approaching one, and of course is refusing to let me feed her anymore. She has to do it herself. The only problem is that the food inevitably ends up in her hair! Corn, peas, black beans, sweet potatoes, Cheerio. It doesn’t matter. I’d like to find a gentle shampoo that can get the food out of her hair.

Cozy: Make sure you are taking lots of pictures. She’s at the most darling stage! In the meantime, use a gentle tear-free shampoo like So Cozy Very Berry Shampoo. It’s Paraben Free (no synthetic preservatives) and formulated specifically for children so it won’t sting her eyes. Enjoy every cute moment!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Q: My daughter is 4, and I’m guessing her hair type is 2a (I’m new to all this). My hair is straight so I have no clue what to do with her hair. It’s very fine, tangles easily and is prone to frizz. I’ve tried mousses and leave-ins, but they weigh her hair down. She also doesn’t like much done to her hair. I need help!

Cozy: For fine hair, you need to be very careful to use a light product that won’t weigh down your daughter’s hair. But at the same time, it will help to control and prevent frizz. If you have some control, that will also help prevent tangles. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. It’s lightweight, but still gets the job done! Some added benefits: it smells great and will make hair shiny!

Q: My 4-year-old is a 4b and she has soft hair, but it shrinks about 75 percent. I always wrap her hair in ponytails, but she seems to be hating this since she is now going to school. When I left her hair loose one day with a band, she said almost all the children in her class (99 percent white) were touching her hair (she started a few weeks ago). I have since noticed that this has left my little girl a bit frustrated and she has constantly said she wants long hair. She told me one day when I was doing her hair that another child in nursery had called her a gorilla. What can I do to help my little daughter?

Cozy: Children can be so mean, especially when someone is different from themselves or from what they are used to. It’s important that you instill a sense of pride in your daughter that will help build her self-esteem. These are life-long lessons that she will be dealing with her whole life, and it’s never too early to start. Helping your daughter manage her hair is a great step in the right direction! Take your daughter to a professional who can give her a great, proper haircut. Help her to embrace her beautiful hair so that she will feel good about herself.

Q: My daughter is biracial and had the longest ringlets I had ever seen. But they got too long (down to her diaper at 2), so I took her to someone who said they cut mixed hair. I explained to her I didn’t want to loose her ringlets. To make a long story short, she cut her ringlets into a 80s shag. Basically she cut up the ringlets and made them waves (many tears inserted here). I thought I could get them back by letting them grow out and cutting the curls in the proper S, getting them blunt again. But they are more like long wiggles then ringlets. Recently my daughter took scissors to her own hair (more tears), but I noticed that where she cut it close to the scalp, it is coming back in with ringlets. Could it be that her hair is too heavy to start the ringlet again, and I need to cut it all short?

Cozy: It’s possible that this new cut is weighing her hair down in certain places, which is preventing the ringlets. Perhaps you should go to a different stylist for a consultation. The good news is that hair grows back, so you don’t have to worry. Perhaps with a few long layers added, she will get her ringlets back!

Q: I have a 4-month old daughter with a head full of 3b/3c hair. I wash her hair once a week with baby shampoo, and use light grease on it. However, her hair seems to swallow it (the grease) whole. It leaves it very dry, hard to the touch and frizzy to the eye. I’ve been searching the Internet for some suggestions on what to use for her. And, because she is so young, I don’t want to use a lot of chemicals. Can you give any suggestions on what I can use to naturally inhance her curls and keep her hair growing healthy?

Cozy: You are smart to look for products that are formulated specifically for your young daughter. I recommend that you condition your daughter’s hair as often as possible. Try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner. It’s gentle enough for your baby, yet light enough that it won’t weigh down her hair. For added hydration, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In Conditioner. You can spray in wet or dry hair anytime you want to defrizz or soften hair.

Q: My daughter is 18 months old and biracial. She has beautiful curly hair, but I have NO experience with hair like hers. I would like to find a kid-friendly product that will help keep it moisturized and relatively tangle free. She complains bitterly whenever I try to comb it, even when I am very careful about not tugging. I am struggling with my mindset about how to care for hair because I realize that her hair and my hair need different attention. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cozy: Tangles are the No.1 problem we hear about in my salons, so much so that we actually created a product just to deal with them! Try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler. Apply to tangles in the tub and use a wide-tooth comb to get through knots. Make sure that when you comb her hair, work in 1-inch sections, starting from the bottom working your way up one inch at a time.

Q: My 3-year-old daughter’s hair has really started growing out and curling up more and more. I’m not sure what products are good on kids. It seems like we are stuck in ponytail mode. Her curls tend to get really dry toward the middle/end of the day. We both suffer from massive bed head in the morning even with the satin pillow case. It just sticks to our heads. Any ideas?

Cozy: I often recommend sleeping with a loose pony on top of the head. This helps solve two problems — bedhead and tangles. I would also recommend a good-leave in conditioner for the dried-out hair. You should try So Cozy Fruity Delight spray leave-in conditioner. You can use this in the morning to re-invigorate curls and to keep hair hydrated. This is also a great product to use on the go for touch-ups and for hair re-hydration during the day.

Q: My 9-year-old is really self conscious about her curly hair. She wears her hair the same way every single day because she’s afraid that trying something new will only end in disaster. Right now, she showers in the morning, brushes her hair and puts a headband in it. Then she applies a big helping of hair product. She says it stays really crunchy until about noon, but grows throughout the day until it’s huge and frizzy by the time she gets home from school. Any suggestions to help her feel some sense of control over her curls?

Cozy: All 9-year-old girls are so self-conscious about their hair. It’s so normal. The problem for your daughter is that she hasn’t yet learned the right way to control her hair. The worst thing you can do to curly hair is to brush it! It unsettles the cuticle and actually causes hair to look frizzy and fuzzy. Instead, encourage her to try this regimen. If she tries it on a weekend she’ll have more time to play around with different options and she’ll have no worries about going to school with her new look. Rather than brushing her hair when she comes out of the shower, she should comb out her hair in the shower with a wide-tooth comb with conditioner in it. After the shower, squeeze out excess water and scrunch in an alcohol-free styling Gel (try So Cozy Groovy Grape), distributing it evenly around the head. Let the hair dry naturally. Natural curls will settle and hair will not get frizzy. It may take some getting used to, but after a couple of weeks, her hair will settle into its own natural rhythm.

Q: My daughter has 3a, one-length hair. What do you think about bangs and curly hair? She’s ready for a change, and thinks bangs would be fun. But with all her curls and cowlicks, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.

Cozy: Bangs can be very tricky for curly girls, especially if she has cowlicks too. The bangs shrink up and can be very unpredictable. Rather than jump into bangs, perhaps she should consider a graduated cut on the sides. That is a nice alternative because it frames the face and isn’t so severe.

Q: My 3b daughter wants long hair so badly. Right now, it’s about shoulder length when it’s dry. Is there anything she can do to help speed up the hair growth process? And do you have style suggestions she can wear as she’s waiting for it to grow longer?

Cozy: I never understood this myself, but trimming the hair consistently really does help it to grow faster! Just a slight trim regularly will keep the hair healthy and encourage it to grow faster. As for styles, wearing the sides up is a great in-between option.

< b class="pink">Q: My 3-year-old daughter can’t sleep without waking up looking like a wild animal. So basically, unless we’re willing to wash it the next day or pull it back in a ponytail, it looks like a total mess. Any tips to avoid bed head?

Cozy: I recommend wearing a loose pony to bed. It will keep hair from getting knotty and will help keep it under control, preventing bed head and other “wild” looks. If you still need a little touch-up even after the pony, try a little So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. That will help control and defrizz hair, yet keep it natural-looking, shiny and soft.