Devri Velazquez

I grew anxious with each day that passed by in anticipation of my family’s annual reunion. I was in search of a quick fix to my sudden changes in my hair, skin, and body. What had always been self-confidence within me was turning into self-doubt.  I did not want to come to terms with the fact that my health was too. It was literally happening right before my eyes. I looked into the mirror every day at a stranger. My rapid heartbeat inside me reflected more than a sense of being awestruck.

I started wearing makeup for the first time to conceal the yellowness in my complexion. After only a few weeks, my impatience got the best of me and I started trying luxury brands. Even the finest of tea tree oils or the purest of seaweed extracts delivered minimal results. My confidence—and now, money—were diminishing as quickly as the natural luster of my skin.

I remember waking up one day drenched in sweat for the first time. It was like somebody had thrown a bucket of water over my entire body. I kept the air conditioning pretty cold in my apartment, and I didn’t feel hot at all, so I was confused as to why my body was reacting in that way. I also noticed my heart beating incredibly fast, even though my body was at rest. My adrenaline pumped like I had just crossed the finish line in a marathon. I opened my eyes only to see what looked like squiggly lines floating on the ceiling above me. The brightness in my vision flickered, as if somebody was switching the lights on and off. My head throbbed while my arms tingled and my legs stung. The sensation felt like a million ants crawling up my arms and legs without me having the ability to brush them off. I remained calm to the best of my ability and got up out of bed slowly. For the first time in my whole life, getting dressed felt close to impossible. 

MORE: Natural Hair Envy Brings Devri to Big Chop

As a woman, keeping up with my outward appearance has always felt like a necessity. My daily beauty routines focused more on my face and skin while I relied on flat irons and relaxers mostly to maintain my hair. I had no knowledge of the damage I was causing.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, simply running my fingers through my strands often resulted in clumps of hair in my palm. This made styling my hair both difficult and scary. Coloring my hair also started becoming an issue. Instead of using just one box once a month, I started doubling up on color twice a month.

Not only did my hair become weaker, my body did too. I started experiencing fatigue, even on my less physically active days. My diet wasn’t the best, but I did not think this had any negative impact since it had never been a factor before.

Taking care of my appearance everyday became more of a chore and required greater effort. It was also becoming less fun. When I washed my face, I would notice a lot of dryness and change in the feeling of my skin. I started bruising easily elsewhere on my body (legs, back, and stomach). Nothing changed in my beauty routine, so I wondered what could possibly trigger this sudden change.

Living alone, no one had a chance to witness firsthand the everyday physical challenges I was facing. At 21 years old, going out to parties and having fun with friends was supposed to be the norm, but with the flakiness and irritation on my face and skin, the noticeable fragility of my hair and general fatigue, I felt anything but normal. My self-esteem began to wither away like an old stone. Hope was running away from me and I didn’t have the stamina to catch up with it.

MORE: Natural Hair Envy Brings Devri to Big Chop

The beginning of my health concerns started in 2011. I first noticed sporadic changes within my body, including a constant rapid heart rate, tingling in my arms, visual disturbances and overall weakness. At first, I did not think any of these symptoms had any connection with one another. In addition to the devastating effects my inner body was experiencing, my outward appearance began to change as well.

Although subtle at first, I did notice a change in my skin complexion. The color of my face was yellowing.  Its texture became coarse and bumpy. The skin under my eyes drooped a little more and made me look like I had been deprived of sleep for weeks. All the cold creams, moisturizers, and face washes resisted aiding the sudden onset of acne, bags, and sun spots on my face. I would bruise easily and my lips turned blue from time to time from lack of oxygen.

I had always been fortunate enough to have clear skin my whole life. But over the next few months, it only got worse. Instantly I felt like I had traveled back to grade school days when having random bouts of teenage puberty was normal.

MORE: Devri’s Hair & Health Journey: An Introduction

As I wrote about earlier, I had been receiving relaxers on a monthly basis since the tender age of 5. My mane had managed to undergo a number of coloring, highlighting and straightening treatments throughout the years without losing any fullness, strength or length.

Before getting sick, I had experienced no immediate repercussions for doing a considerable amount of chemically treated damage to my tresses. But now my ends were brittle. The breakage was difficult to keep up with. I needed to get a trim every two weeks. My baby hair even looked like it was in dire need of something beyond moisture and conditioning. Every time I brushed or combed through my strands, an unusually large amount of hair fell out. The broom bristles came out of the closet every single day to clean up the mess I had left behind on the bathroom floor. I was not prepared for what lay ahead.

Inside I was hurting. Outside I was changing. The unanticipated shift in my hair, skin, and health was like a wave in the distance — fast approaching and unavoidable. All I could hope for was that once we made contact, the waters would not crash down on me and take me under with it.

MORE: Hair Envy Brings Devri to a Big Chop

Prior to working at NaturallyCurly in early 2012, everything I had known in my 23 years of living had absolutely nothing to do with embracing or caring for my natural 3B curls. I have always considered my personal style a bit unpredictable. My hair, makeup and clothing might represent simplicity and elegance one day, and bold, colorful confidence the next. But no matter what I tried, there was always something missing that I just couldn’t grasp.

A month or two after joining the NaturallyCurly team, I realized that I needed to let my hair be free! Free from the hostage that flat irons and relaxers had on me for 18 years. The emancipation of overly processed, damaged and bone-straight strands came with more splendors than met the eye.

You may notice that I look different than my last appearance on NaturallyCurly. My body, face and hair change on almost a monthly basis. In the summer of 2011 I was diagnosed with an extremely rare autoimmune disease that is a type of vasculitis. My heart and blood vessels are directly affected, and my immune system attacks itself whenever I have simple illnesses like a cold. The moment it was discovered by my team of doctors, I dove into a rigorous form of treatment to keep myself alive.

As a result of the many medications, chemotherapy and treatment plan I’m on, restoring my hair to its original state means so much more than just keeping up with the trends or making a fashion statement. Ever since my Big Chop in April of last year, I have been able to take better care of my entire body, starting with my hair. Starting fresh with a new outlook on life has been a golden opportunity for me to start fresh with new hair, beauty, and fashion routines. Despite being on chemo on and off for more than a year, my locks are thicker and fuller than ever. Not to mention, the overall health of my hair and skin has improved drastically.

MORE: A House Divided: One Natural, One Relaxed

Devri before.

Having an African American mother and a half Hispanic, half Italian father made it difficult for my sister Dee-Dee and I to relate regarding our physical appearances — especially when it came to our hair. My mom has been straightening her 4C hair for years, and my dad’s hair was fine and straight. Dee-Dee and I somehow ended up right in the middle, with wild 3B curls.

I barely made it past age four before my mother officially gave up on trying to tame my locks. Although my sister is only one year younger and had the exact same hair type as me, my mom chose to book me a hair appointment at the tender age of five. For years she had been going to a stylist by the name of Stallin. At five-years-old, I thought his name was “Styling.” Even though I had no idea what he would be doing to my hair, I felt like I would be in safe hands.

I climbed Stallin’s chair in anticipation of receiving my first relaxer — whatever that was. I had no idea what was going on until he spun that chair around and let me see myself in the mirror. My hair was beautiful. It was straight, silky and I could actually run my fingers through it with ease! I was excited to go home and show my “new” hair off to Dee-Dee.

Sure, she appeared to be happy for me. During playtime, she would brush my hair and help me style it for fun. My ego inflated, and from that point on, I received a relaxer for the next 18 years, while my mom kept Dee-Dee’s hair natural.

I enjoyed it, but sometimes I would wonder what I’d look like if my mother had decided to keep my hair curly, too.

One day, I decided to share my feelings with Dee-Dee. She admitted to me that she felt the same way towards me; she had always wondered what it would be like to have straight hair. She told me she was extremely jealous of the fact that my hair required little maintenance and was easy to style. I told her that I was envious of the fact that her hair had a gorgeous texture, volume and bounce. I suddenly felt deprived of what I could have had naturally as well.

Devri after.

Now that I’m 22, I feel like I still have a chance at revisiting my roots — no pun intended. After years and years of processing, dyeing and solely relying on my relaxers to take care of my hair for me, I feel like there’s going to be a long road ahead of me in this transition phase. Although I presume it will be challenging, I’m ecstatic about letting my natural locks come back to life.

When I first shared the news with my family, Dee-Dee was excited for me. She recently decided to get her first relaxer, so we’ve agreed on giving encouragement and tips throughout this new process for both of us. My mother, however, expressed her feelings of concern. She warned me of the difficulty of maintaining my naturally curly hair, but she’s supportive of my decision either way.

I can’t wait to get back in touch with the “original” me. After all these years, I can say that I am more than ready to embrace my wild and crazy locks!

I guess the grass — or hair — isn’t always better on the other side, after all.