My-Cherie

My-Cherie

Now that I have straight hair, my sister in-law has traded places with me and opted for the au natural mane. It’s kinda funny to me because she’s not the au natural type of girl, or at least that’s what I thought. I remember when my hair was natural. Chrissy was always very curious about my hair, but never gave me any indication that she was thinking about trying it. Last week I gave her a jingle, because now I was curious about how it felt to be on the other side of the fence.

Chrissy is a professor at the University of Houston and must maintain a certain polished look. Growing your hair out while teaching at a university is not exactly fun or easy. She told me she’s been wearing it pulled back in a pony for about a year now, but wants to try something different. When I teased her about cutting her hair off and wearing a short fro, she promptly responded with, “never the low fro.” That’s too bad, because Chrissy could rock a low fro.

Chrissy’s inspiration to grow her hair out didn’t come from me, it came from her sister who has been natural for three years. The first couple of years Chrissy was really skeptical about her sister’s hair, because she felt it didn’t quite look right. Now after the third year of growing it out, it looks great, so Chrissy decided to try it herself.

Now she’s loving it. Chrissy says, “I love my little waves!” She’s happy to be natural and says that now her hair has texture and volume, which is something she missed when her hair was relaxed. She also doesn’t have to worry about a curling iron or a blow dryer. She can just condition, pull it back and go.

I must admit, as I was listening to Chrissy go on and on about how much she loved being natural, I was a little jealous — in a good way, though. I thought to myself, “Ah man, I miss my fro.” I mean, I’m pretty happy with my hair being straight and I enjoy having the luxury of combing through it, but still nothing trumps the joy of seeing my thick and well-rounded afro in the mirror. It is such an empowering feeling.

Chrissy has been maintaining her waves with Wen Cleansing Conditioner. She says, “If you are natural, it’s the best product in the world.” That’s cool to know, although Chrissy did make that statement before she had a chance to check out the thousands of products at NaturallyCurly.com. I also recommended Mixed Chicks leave-in conditioner, since it worked so well for my man’s mane and they have similar hair textures.

We ended our conversation on a positive note, with Chrissy’s curl-power words, “There’s no turning back. I have to see this thing through.” Wow! I still can’t believe we’ve traded places. Who knows what’s next? Maybe I’ll convince her to wear a low fro and maybe she’ll inspire me to go back natural.

My-Cherie

Last night, at dinner, I couldn’t help but notice my man’s mane. I thought to myself, “Boy, his hair looks so shiny, conditioned and way less frizzy. I wonder what he did differently?”

As the night progressed he asked, “So what do you think of my hair?” I replied, “I love it.” Then he confessed that he ran out of his conditioner and happened to stumble upon my Mixed Chicks leave-in conditioner in the cabinet. He said, “At first, I didn’t know what to expect, but I really like the way it makes my hair look and feel.”

I said, “I’m so proud of you, baby. Your hair looks awesome!” I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s so cool.” I’ve been trying to get him to use my naturally curly products forever and now he finally tried something, only because he ran out of his conditioner. Hooray for Mixed Chicks!

My-Cherie is proud of her husband for rockin’ his curls

I love my man’s mane. He really doesn’t have to do much to it and it makes me so jealous. I have never seen him comb or brush his hair — not one time. He just gives it a wash or rinse in the shower, rubs conditioner on with his hands, and then goes about his business. His hair just curls up into these adorable little spiral curls — bouncy, like a slinky. For his beard, he just smoothes it down with a little rosemary oil, which smells divine, and then he’s finito.

My hair, on the other hand, is a totally different story. When my hair was natural, I had to work for my well-coiffed ‘fro. It took time, dedication and a lot of products to make sure my hair was well-moisturized and healthy-looking.

Some people have it easy. Some of us don’t, but I can always appreciate and respect all hair types. When I was growing up, we called people with hair like my man’s “good hair”. People used to say, “Oh, she has good hair.” or, “Her hair is straight-up nappy.” I don’t think it was right to be categorized like that, but I do think we should be grateful for the hair we are blessed with, regardless of the type.

I’m so proud of my man for embracing his mane and choosing to be natural, curly and free for all the world to see. Now that he is loving the products, I think it’s time for him to start spreading the word to other men who are not as confident about their mane as he is. Why not?

My-Cherie

My business is growing and work in the modeling industry has picked up for me significantly, so I’m all about convenience and low maintenance. I’m also big on saving time, because time is money.

I must admit, I miss my curls. I get my hair done at a salon once a week, but I don’t always have the time to sit under a dryer and wait for my curls to set.

I decided it was time to take a trip to my favorite wig shop and pick up a new and improved curly wig. I know it sounds like I’m cheating for curls, but trust me when I tell you — I still represent the curly community in the most positive way.

Wig shopping can be fun. You get to see yourself in so many different looks; it’s almost like having multiple personalities. I love it, although sometimes it’s hard for me to make a choice because I tend to look good in most wigs. Not to brag or anything, but I have what they call a “wig face,” meaning I can wear a variety of wigs while still maintaining a natural look. Everyone can’t wear wigs. Some women tend to look like men when they throw on a wig. Not a good look, unless you want to look like a man. The Asian woman who runs the wig shop I go to is very nice, accommodating and honest in her opinions of how a wig should look when it is on. I tried on a few curly wigs, and I finally found one I loved. It looked natural, blended with my skin tone and could easily be styled. I walked out of that wig shop feeling good about spending less than $50 dollars on my newfound curls. Cheating? No. Saving? Yes. Convenience? Yes.

My-Cherie rocks her curly wig at a fashion show.

I got a chance to sport my fabulous new curls in a fashion show at a charity event for the Ronald McDonald House. No one ever knew that I was wearing a wig. One model came up to me and said, “Wow My-Cherie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair in its natural state. It’s so pretty.” I responded by saying, “Girl, it’s a wig, but thank you!”

I must admit, I’m pretty happy with my new curls. They’re simple, sweet and easy to complete. What more could a busy girl who misses her natural curls ask for?

My-Cherie

Due to the great feedback from my column last month, I’ve decided to pick up where I left off.

I made it to the inaugural festivities in Washington, DC, and it was an AMAZING experience. I definitely felt like I was on another planet, hence the name Obamania.

Everyone on Planet Obamania carried an uplifting spirit. The positive energy soared to great heights. It felt like Christmas at the North Pole with Santa and his little multicultural elves. About 2 million followers gathered at our capitol in the little District of Columbia — every race, culture and religion from every state, meshing and mingling together. There were gay, straight, young and old —all sizes and shapes. There were many in wheelchairs and I even saw a blind man making his way through the crowds. It was all for the love of one man — President Barack Obama. With all those people around me, I could have sworn I was experiencing the second coming of Christ — seriously. There was no violence, no crimes and no arrests the entire time. Yep, I was definitely on a different planet. I can only compare it to the words of Louis Armstrong’s song, “What a Wonderful World::

“The colors of a rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands sayin’ how do you do
They’re really sayin’ I love you.”

The city of D.C. may not have been prepared for the overflow of crowds, but vendors were prepared with plenty of Obama memorabilia, and everyone was buying. There were Obama blankets, tees, sweaters. water, hats, buttons, socks, coats, wristbands, scarves, towels, mugs, shot glasses, notebooks, purses, action figures, pens, pencils and the list goes on and on. Obama’s face was on everything- everywhere. Someone even tried to sell me some Obama cheese. How crazy is that? This is only my guess, but with all the money that was made from the inauguration I’m sure D.C.’s economy will thrive for at least the next 5 years. You do the math.

I got to attend some fun music parties and balls, but my favorite activity was going to Manifest Art: DC, an art exhibition that opened only for the week of the inauguration. There was a wonderful display of Obama art by artists from all over America. The art was a true indication of how much our President is loved. Some depicted President Obama as a sports star, a sex symbol and a hippie. Many say President Obama is the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln and there was a painting there to prove it. It was such a pleasure to see happiness and joy fill the rooms of every place I went.

President Obama was not the only popular face on Planet Obamania. Our First Lady was right by his side with a presence of strength and beauty that makes me proud be an American, a woman, but most of all it makes me proud to be black. During the inauguration I only caught a glimpse of Michelle Obama’s dress from afar, but I think she chose well. It was so cool that the “no name” designers she picked found out the same time as the rest of the world. Isabel Toledo, a Cuban-born American who designed Michelle Obama’s lemongrass-yellow inaugural outfit describes her moment of bliss: “There is nothing that comes close to this moment. It’s not just my moment and hers, but it’s the world’s.” True, indeed. Even though I didn’t get the accessories part of the outfit — green Jimmy Choo shoes with green gloves to match — I admire Mrs. Obama for being bold. You go girl!

Our first lady looked stunning in the fairytale ball gown designed by Jason Wu. She definitely picked the right dress for her skin tone and body type. Ivory looks amazing on dark brown skin and it showed, because she glowed. I was glad she decided to go with new Twainese designer and young prodigy, Jason Wu. Wu describes his feeling of seeing the First Lady with his design on in the New York Times: “I was over the moon. It’s priceless to be a part of history.” Well, I, too, would be over the moon, sun and stars if Michelle Obama picked a design of mine. Wu was definitely worthy of the inaugural ball gown prize, especially after spending many late nights in his studio, with a crew of four, hand-sewing thousands of organza flowers and crystals to Obama’s dress. Wow, the things we do for the love of the Obamas.

It’s great to know that Michelle Obama is a trendsetter and a classy lady who realizes that everything does not have to have a big designer on the label to have quality, style and beauty. My heart fluttered with delight when I saw our President and First Lady dancing together at the inaugural balls — absolutely beautiful!

I can’t forget about the superstar kids, Malia and Sasha. They looked ultra chic at the inauguration with their colorful J. Crew jackets with matching scarves, ribbons and shoes. America loves those girls and I can wait to watch them grow up. Malia is well poised, mature and attentive. Sasha is bright-eyed and full of curiosity and playfulness.

It was truly enlightening to be surrounded by so many people of different cultures, backgrounds and circumstances. Our world is changing and everyone that made the effort to come to Planet Obamania made a choice to come in peace and be a part of history. The Obamas obviously have a knack for bringing people together. Our charismatic president has a lot of responsibility on his plate, though. Our economy is shaky, our country is at war and people are in an anxious state of mind. Not only America, but the world as well, is looking for solutions. It’s going to take lots of time and effort to get things back in order. With the support of each and every one of us, President Obama can make this country and world a better place. In the words of Armstrong, “I think to myself what a wonderful world” it will be.

My-Cherie

Now that President-elect Barack Obama will be taking over the White House, we have a new fashion plate in America — Michelle Obama. Many top designers vie for her attention, especially for the inaugural balls on January 20, 2009.

Women’s Wear Daily commissioned top designers to “dress” Michelle Obama in her role as First Lady. Many of these top designers created beautiful dresses for her, but I think they forgot that she was black and weighed a little more than 100 lbs. Surprised? I’m not. I can get over the fact that many designers sketched her extremely paper thin, but I can’t get over them not adding color to her skin. I mean she is black, right? I know it’s hard for many to believe that we will actually have an African-American family in the White House in less than one month, but it’s a fact. So why would top designers like Marc Jacobs and Rodarte spend all this time sketching elaborate designs for our future First Lady, but not take into consideration the color of her skin? What were they thinking? Hello! She is dark brown, not albino.

The clothes that you wear should be based on the color of your skin and your body type. You are not going to wear something that doesn’t look right on your skin tone. Your skin color, make-up, body and hairdo can make or break an outfit. Everyone in the fashion industry knows that. You don’t even have to be in fashion to know. It’s common sense.

Debra Dickerson of Mother Jones magazine boldly comments on the drawings: “I get that these drawings are stylizations, but to design for someone individually sorta requires you to deal with their skin tone, right? Would they drape a ‘winter’ in ’summer’ colors? Are these artists ‘helping’ her by making her whiter (and thus ‘capable’ of beauty) or are they so squeamish in imagining a sister in couture that they have to whitewash her to make her ‘worthy’ of high fashion?”

These are truly legitimate questions that have yet to be answered. The fashion industry is practically my life right now, but sometimes I have no idea why people do the things that they do. I do know one thing. The last time I checked, black was beautiful, and that was about 10 seconds ago when I looked in the mirror.

Honestly, I can’t be mad.

Tickets to the inauguration were a birthday present from my man to me that I will be grateful for eternally. This is a historical landmark of my generation in our nation, and I get to be a part of it. What better way to kick off the New Year than celebrating the inauguration of our first black president!

P.S: I can’t wait to see what Michelle will wear to the Inaugural Ball. I hope she goes with Christian Lacroix or Betsey Johnson, since they were about the only designers that got it right. Yes, Michelle Obama is Black.

My-Cherie

Silk is the incomparable queen of textiles, once made only for royalty and the most powerful rulers. I’ve been intrigued by silk for as long as I can remember. Well, not just silk — silk scarves. There’s so much you can do with a silk scarf.

When I was a little girl, my mom would wrap my hair every night with a silk scarf. It was a comforting family tradition, and to this day, I don’t go to sleep without wrapping my hair. It’s important, especially if you have 4b hair like I do. Silk keeps your hair from breaking and prevents split ends. It also keeps the moisture in your hair while allowing your hair to breathe. Silk keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. How could you not love this versatile fabric?

Before I relaxed my afro, I would wrap my hair before yoga class or my workout. It was great because my hair was up and out of my face. Silk is perfect when you don’t feel like doing anything with your hair. I’ve gone out many times with my hair wrapped and received many compliments. It frames the face so nicely; it’s like having a temporary face lift without the surgery.

Now that my hair is relaxed I still enjoy wearing my silk scarves. I like to wrap the silk around my hair as a headband after a rod and wet set. It’s really cool because I can make my hair big in the back and I’m getting another temporary face lift!

My love for silk inspired me to create my own accessories line with silk scarves and many other unique creations. My business partner and I hand paint and hand dye our silk scarves individually. Each piece is unique and one of a kind, just like you. What’s so special about these products is the versatility. You can wear it as a scarf, a headband, dress or belt.

The possibilities are endless.

There are so many wonderful ways to adorn yourself with silk. I can go on and on with ideas, but I suggest you try some of your own.

To find out more about how to wear silk scarves check out my website.

Love, Peace and Happy Holidays!

My-Cherie

I’ve received some interesting feedback from readers since perming my hair. I had a chance to chat with my fellow sister, Mosetta, founder of A Nappy Hair Affair. One of her napfirmations is: “My hair my be straight, but I have a nappy mind.”

I love it! I told Mosetta that since her last email to me, I made the decision to relax my hair, despite resistance from the curly community. She gave me some great advice that I will continue to apply whether my hair is kinky or straight:

“It all depends on where your mind is. If you love your black self and don’t want to be anybody else but your black self then you don’t suck. You ROCK!” Thank goodness for Mosetta.

I’ve been out and about for the last couple of months in Austin and other cities with my hair relaxed in a variety of styles. I still get the same positive comments about my hair that I did when it was in an Afro. This affirms to me that it’s not about whether or not I have straight or kinky hair. It’s about the inner qualities that I project that shine on the outside. My hair may be straight, but I have a nappy frame of mind. I am still a strong black woman with Jamaican and Cuban roots. I’m still an ambitious entrepreneur. I still love to model and act. I am still a poet. I am still a sister, an auntie and a friend. I still love myself, and my wonderful husband loves me too.

I look in the mirror every morning and say, “I am beautiful.” You should try it. Not because of the texture of your hair, but because of what dwells inside the curly, straight, kinky or nappy you.

My-Cherie

Since I permed my hair two months ago, I’ve gone from poofy to flat.

Seriously y’all, I miss my wild hair. Straight hair can really be boring, so I have to constantly think of creative ways to jazz it up.

Last weekend I took a trip to Las Vegas for my best friend’s Desert Fiesta wedding. I decided to wear my hair like a señorita princess, with two twists on each side of my head going back. I pinned the back with bobby pins and adorned my coif with flowers. It was super cute. I got a lot of compliments; but, after a couple of days, I was totally over it.

My Cherie’s wild Vegas hair.

I was determined to get my hair wild again. On my last night out in the city of Lost Wages, I decided that I was going to dare to be bold and try a new style. It was my friend’s birthday, and I wanted to do something fabulous with my hair. I didn’t have much to work with, but I did have Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding, mousse and hair spray. I deep conditioned my hair in the steam room (still works wonders for curly or straight hair). Then, I towel-dried my hair. While my hair was still wet, I took a dab of the curly pudding along with some mousse and proceeded to braid all my hair in little tiny plaits. After braiding all my hair, I blow-dried it. Then, I took the curling iron and curled the tips of my hair. I know this seems like a lot of steps, but I was in the zone. My vision was very clear: WILD HAIR! After hot curling, I bobby-pinned the braids to my hair as if I had a ’30s finger-wave style. I let it sit for 30 minutes while I got dressed and all made up. Then I took the bobby pins and braids out.

Voila! I got my wild hair back! As I styled it in the mirror, it kind of reminded me of the 80’s crinkled look, reinvented by me. I loved it, and so did my friends. It was wild. I was free. I couldn’t wait for the birthday celebration of dancing and espresso martinis.

It’s funny how my hair is an extension of who I am. Sometimes I want to be calm and tamed. Sometimes I want to be wild and crazy. I love going with the flow and coming up with new styles for my hair. It’s all about being innovative and creative.

Hmm…I wonder what I’ll come up with next.

My-Cherie

Two weeks ago, on a whim, I decided to perm my hair. It’s been seven years since I straightened my hair.

Before you hit me over the head with a book, please let me explain. I’ve been extremely frustrated with my hair in this summer Texas heat. It’s been brutal. A couple of Sundays ago, my kinky-haired model friend, Zion, and I decided to go shopping for wigs and ponytails at the local wig shop. The experience was unbearable. The hair was cheap and the customer service was bad. Zion and I looked at each other in disgust over the whole situation. Why is it so hard for a kinky girl to get some decent hair in this town?

Frustration sometimes leads to desperation. Zion and I decided that at that very moment we were not going to think twice about it. We were going to take the plunge and perm our hair. We knew that we didn’t want our hair too straight — just more manageable. We also wanted to maintain our kinkiness. We had to find the best salon in town that could make this happen. I told her that I was not going to do it unless she did it and she said that she was not going to do it unless I did it. So we both took a chance and did it! We made an appointment that day for the transformation. The sisters’ pact was sealed.

Zion, the hairstylist and My-Cherie, post perm.

The salon service was fabulous. I had a great hand massage while sipping on herbal tea. I hadn’t been “hair” pampered like that in so long that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then reality began to set in. Less than five minutes after my stylist started to put the perm on my head, my ears began to tingle and then it started burning all over. I began to have flashbacks of when I was a little girl and my mom would perm my hair. I would jump around frantically saying, “Please mommy, take it out! It burns!”

My stylist rushed to the sink to wash it out. The wash out was torture. It felt like little prickly pine cones stabbing me all over. After thorough rinsing, my stylist noticed that my hair was still in a fro. The problem is, my hair is thick but my scalp is so sensitive I can’t leave a perm on long enough to actually straighten my hair. My stylist said, in the most peculiar way, “It seems like your hair rejected the relaxer. It’s just as thick as it was before we permed it. Girl, I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Oh, gee that’s great. Of course this would happen to me. Look where spontaneity got me.

My life has taken a twist. I know I always talk about the pressures of conforming to straight hair in the modeling industry, while fighting to stay true to myself and everything I believe in. It sounds crazy, but I had to see for myself how my life would change with a perm. Now I realize why I hadn’t permed my hair in seven years:

1. No one can ever seem to get it right.
2. I hate the way a perm makes my hair smell.
3. My scalp cannot handle it.
4. My hair is supposed to be kinky!

There are some benefits, though. I can style my own hair for modeling work — no weave wig or press necessary. I can wet set my hair with rods and still use naturally curly products like Curl Junkie Curl Fuel Enhancing Spray. My hair is still kinky with more bounce. My curls are big and loose.

Maybe it’s spontaneity gone right. I still haven’t figured it all out yet. It’s a work in progress.

My-Cherie

Last weekend, I arrived at Hotel Alden in Houston, TX, for my fall season photo shoot. I walked into the hotel room, confident and kinky. The stylist, who will remain unnamed, gave me one stern look with a pointy finger and said, “You are not going to keep your hair like that, right? You know you can’t make any money with your hair like that. I mean, you do want to work in this fashion industry, right?”

I got called out! How did I get myself in this complicated situation?

For every season in the fashion industry, there are new photos to be taken and new looks to be achieved. For this fall, I was in desperate need of new photos. My agency in Houston set me up with an internationally known stylist and photographer. I was very excited about getting new photos, especially because clients like to see fresh faces and new looks.

My-Cherie wearing her hair straight at the Houston photo shoot.

Living in Austin, I can walk into a room with my kinky hair and get nothing but love. So what was I to do with this blunt stylist, who took it upon himself to call me out. This stylist has been in the industry for 18 years, and has worked with everyone from Tyra Banks to Heidi Klum to Iman, and the list goes on and on.

He broke it down for me like this: “In the fashion industry, if you want to make REAL money, you wear your hair straight. It doesn’t matter how you do it. Whether it’s weave, wigs, perm or press, the straight look is high fashion.” He then professed, “Tyra Banks is the biggest money maker right now. She may wear her straight weave, but she is going to let you know that she has corn-rolls up under all that hair. Now that’s a strong black women. You can still be nappy, black and beautiful when you are at home, but when you are working in this industry, it’s a totally different story. Beautiful to ‘them’ is a white girl with a tan and straight hair, which equals an African-American. You are not African, like supermodel, Alec. You are African-American. If ‘they’ want African, they will get a real African. Girl, take it from me, it does not pay to be stubborn in this industry. It is what it is.”

Wow! Hmmm . . . I had to pause for a minute and really ponder all this information that had been bestowed upon me. Boy, did I get a reality check. I was heartbroken. My kinky hair is so endearing to me. But when it comes down to it, I know that I am cheating myself by refusing to wear my hair straight. I’ve gotten a lot of work with my kinky hair, but I’ve also missed out on a lot of work. I hear it from my agents all the time, “Can’t you straighten your hair, please. The client really likes you but won’t book you unless your hair is straight.”

My-Cherie wearing her hair kinky at the Houston photo shoot.

Why do I always feel like I’m in a Catch 22? I want to stay true to me. But does it mean that if I wear my hair straight I will be losing my identity. Or is it an honest compromise? I mean, isn’t that what life is all about — compromise and sacrifice for the good of all? I don’t want to sacrifice my hair for more money, do I?

There aren’t that many guarantees in life, but one thing is for sure — change. Change is inevitable. So after heartfelt prayer and mediation, I’ve decided that I’m going to bring change into my life. The straight wig has retired, but that doesn’t mean I can’t invest in some “Tyra” hair. I can wear my straight look whenever I’m doing high fashion work.

For my commercial look, clients are all about the natural these days, so I can sport my kinky hair. That’s the best of both worlds. I’m still being true to myself; I’m just adapting to the situation.

No matter what, I’m still My-Cherie — natural, truthful, strong and free; full of life for all to see.