natural hair struggle

“Struggle.”

Why do we refer to our natural hair journeys as a “struggle”?

Sure, in comparison to others, our hair might look completely different than the girl’s curls on the commercial or TV show we watch every Monday, but have you ever thought to yourself–what if she saw your picture and thought, ‘I wish my hair looked like that… I love that cut… My hair isn’t as long as hers… My curls are limper than hers and can’t hold styles like hers do in these pics…” My point is, the grass simply is not greener on the other side. And it never will be. Who made said girl in commercial the ultimate goal for all things hair? 

Lest you forget a major reason for chosing to return to your natural roots in the first place. 

Stop comparing.

Someone will always have longer, curlier, straighter, thicker, shinier, coilier, more defined, frizzless, fuller hair than you. And yours will always be more than the next person’s.

Your journey will also be completely different than theirs, too. You will inevitably–and indefinitely–encounter various product, haircut, ingredient, regimen, technique, hairstyle, and hair color issues throughout that simply do not work for YOU. Every ‘mistake’, ‘slip-up’, or failed routine/technique is all an integral part of understanding the magic it takes to make you…truly, you. 

Start embracing.

The beauty of living with natural hair is the very thing we tend to forget on a day to day basis. We are freed from the cage that is society’s antiquated standards of beauty. Let us remember that and continue to move forward in our experience of self love and acceptance, rather than taking steps backward and setting boundaries and limit within our own lives when it comes to our personal beauty and hair.

Meditate on your personal decision to return to your natural roots in the first place. No one held you against your will and begged you to stop relaxing your hair. You made the decision all on your own, so live with it.

Why did you start the journey in the first place? Ask yourself that. Focus on that.

It’s OK to be self-serving sometimes, especially with our bodies and minds. At the end of the day, the ultimate goal should zoom in on healthiness, happiness, and emancipation from certain limits our peers (friends, family, coworkers”>, mainstream media, and society have placed on us without our consent. We are free of what once prohibited us, let us remember and embrace one another as we all continue this magnificent journey of self-discovery.

Devri Velazquez

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