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My-Cherie

My-Cherie

I've received some interesting feedback from readers since perming my hair. I had a chance to chat with my fellow sister, Mosetta, founder of A Nappy Hair Affair. One of her napfirmations is: “My hair my be straight, but I have a nappy mind.”

I love it! I told Mosetta that since her last email to me, I made the decision to relax my hair, despite resistance from the curly community. She gave me some great advice that I will continue to apply whether my hair is kinky or straight:

“It all depends on where your mind is. If you love your black self and don't want to be anybody else but your black self then you don't suck. You ROCK!” Thank goodness for Mosetta.

I've been out and about for the last couple of months in Austin and other cities with my hair relaxed in a variety of styles. I still get the same positive comments about my hair that I did when it was in an Afro. This affirms to me that it's not about whether or not I have straight or kinky hair. It's about the inner qualities that I project that shine on the outside. My hair may be straight, but I have a nappy frame of mind. I am still a strong black woman with Jamaican and Cuban roots. I'm still an ambitious entrepreneur. I still love to model and act. I am still a poet. I am still a sister, an auntie and a friend. I still love myself, and my wonderful husband loves me too.

I look in the mirror every morning and say, “I am beautiful.” You should try it. Not because of the texture of your hair, but because of what dwells inside the curly, straight, kinky or nappy you.


Email your questions/comments to My-Cherie.

0 Comments
I like the article, because I don't think the texture of your hair should define who you are and have been. Yet, I still have the same question as Holly. In response to Michelle: The belief that natural hair affords little versatility is the reason why many women are enduring alopecia and permanently damaged hair to not be kinky. Kinky/curly hair gives you more versatility because you can go from one to the other, not so with permanently straightened hair. In addition, once you use a chemical on it, whether relaxer, silkener, color, texturizer, your hair is in a damaged state. You basically have to maintain a lifestyle where you are caring for damaged hair ( i.e. cholesterol treatments, protein treatments, excessive deep conditioning, monthly trims etc.). This is not worth style versatility in my opinion, would it be to you? Contrary to common belief, most women don't fall out of touch with their blackness or have issues with self-identity when they choose to relax. This does not include little girls who grow up relaxed (i.e. myself at 3 yrs.) since it unfortunately becomes part of their self confidence and identity. They do it because they believe it is easier to manage, which is the problem. It wouldn't be hard to manage if there didn't exist the pressure to style it in ways not fit for kinky textures (the 'versatility' people speak of). The happy medium is a texturizer for most so that they can maintain even 'more' versatility, but having to vacilate between straight styles, the right amount of curliness, fear of over processing, and caring for damaged tresses is the breaking point for most. They either completely straigten or go back to natural. Many people with non-afro textured hair don't understand what exactly it means for someone with kinky hair to chemically straighten. It is not simply a "style choice", as Holly Rose alluded to, it's an exhausting lifestyle and to what end? Keeping the hair in it's natural state is something that can be done long-term, without fear of damage, fighting your texture (women who relax 'touch up' their kinky edges and roots frequently)and without exhaustion once you find the right regimen and let go of the idea of versatility according to non-afro textured standards.
If it was just a matter of style choice then why did you choose to relax your hair rather than flat iron it?
Hi I just wanted to say that I am glad that you are happy with your decision to relax and I agree that relaxing ur hair shouldn't change who you are =) If u ever change ur mind Im sure the naturally curly community will welcome you back to the dark side lolol =) Btw since you've relaxed r u still going to keep a blog?
I've read some of your older posts. I'm guessing you're liking relaxed hair? However, if you wanted a looser texture that could go either curly or straight, why didn't you texturize instead of relax? (I assume by perm you mean relaxer.) However, you're right. Hair is just hair, so enjoy it. After all, it always grows back. :-)
I have been lurking for months and months and I hate for this to be my first post but here goes. Also, since you were just natural not long ago and your heart is still in the same place then, perhaps you will really hear me out. It is great that you are willing to experiment and as said above, a model is supposed to be someone else's canvas so one look might not afford you the versatility you will need in that career path. That being said, I am a firm believer in "being the change that you want to see in the world". If we are excited by images of black women with natural hair in ALL walks of life then we should be happy to lead the way!
So true. I have recently had that same revelation. Hair is just hair; relaxed, natural, short, long, whatever. But it doesn't determine the attitude and mindset of the person.
You're right, you're beautiful whether or not you have an afro or straight hair. You're definitely not the first curly who's wanted/needed a change and has straightened her hair, whether permanently or just for the day. The industry you're in (modeling/acting) requires, if not demands, versatility; so I think it's impossible to expect you to have just one look. I enjoy reading your monthly stories about overcoming the stereotypes in the modeling industry and your dilemmas of should you go in to a photo shoot with a straight wig or sport your fro. You give insight into a world most of us only see on television and you make us proud when you help shatter the industries ideals of what's beautiful, by showing that modeling with natural hairstyles can indeed be elegant, classy, versatile, and fun. I'll miss that. ~ Michelle

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