Keep Calm, Stay Natural


2012-08-07 15:28:31

Keep Calm, Stay Natural

How have you responded to offensive comments about your hair?

Oh the irony. Liberation seems to be a theme that women experience along their natural hair journey yet some seem to get so feisty at times. We appear to say "I don't care," but we're ready to follow through with an uppercut at anyone who disagrees....but you don't care right? If you no longer live by the unofficial, Eurocentric (long straight flowing hair) standard of beauty, why become frustrated by others who subconsciously patrol and abide by that standard? There should be no reason that the ignorance or hateration (yea, I said it) of others should affect you. Yes we want everyone to be just as excited as we are, but they probably won't be and I don't blame them. I have a friend who can talk days on end about the Navy, and it's the perfect lullaby after a long day of studying.

It is easy to go into a lecture about how it is so much better to be natural and so on, but some people might not want to hear all that you want to tell them. When people ask questions, I am more than happy to answer and I try to gauge how much depth they are curious to know (if there is any). Note that I said happy to answer and not ready to charge someone up the second they say the "wrong" thing.

I was in fellowship, with a dear friend of mine and he made a profound statement: "I began to look at experiences as opportunities instead of trials." I believe this can even be applied to how you chose to respond to comments about your hair or overall lifestyle choices. Everyone doesn't want to hear "look at the positive" when the negative seems to surround you, but you should. If you take those trials of annoyance or irritation as opportunities to educate others, people are more likely to understand, although they may not necessarily agree.

First and foremost, no one really wants to be lectured. The same way you came to your own realization that everyone defines their own sense of beauty, so should others. No matter how many articles I read, I reached my ah-ha moment in due time, and you have to accept the fact that some may never reach theirs, and it should not matter. Sometimes it's best to just answer questions as plainly as possible, refer them to a blog or forum if they want to get involved and leave it at that.

Another way to avoid being offended is to not build your hair up to others as so much more than just hair. Others may not value their own hair as holding as much significance as yours does to you. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect them to understand and value your hair the way you do.

Sometimes people will be more negative than positive when your hair is the topic of conversation. How you respond could be the difference between giving someone a negative or a positive perspective on natural hair and women with naturally curly hair.

How have you responded to offensive comments about your hair?