Esquire offers up the end all be all of curly hair mantras.
You know those times you're perusing through that bin at H&M or taking a random stroll down a street you've never ventured upon, not really looking for anything in particular and really just finding something to do to pass the time? Your mind isn't really on the good sales in that H&M or on any of the cute shops on that street. It is more thinking about what you'll do next: food, drinks, meet up with the girls? And then it happens. Out of nowhere, your sense of touch comes across cashmere, your sense of sight notices the delicate, perfect shade of blue, your sense of sound can almost hear the cash register as you take your new favorite sweater to checkout.
That, my dear friends, is what THIS is. Perusing through a boyfriend's old collection of Esquire, reading only headlines as I skim the pages — not really caring much about this new hot celebrity or how to shave so that you don't get razor burn (Side note: what works on their faces works on other areas too! It's worth a read!). But then my eye hit the headline:
What Happened to Goldilocks? She Bought Herself a Chi.
Suddenly I'm back on that random street falling in love with the cutest French bakery this side of Paris and making a mental note of the location that will soon call me a "regular." I'm hooked.
And as I continue to read what has now become my FAVORITE quote of all time, my heart skips a beat. It imagines lunch dates with friends and conversations with the significant other about how amazing curly hair is and how this man put into words everything that I have ever wanted to hear, ever. When Jane Austen famously wrote that a woman's mind immediately jumps to marriage, I think what she meant is that a woman's mind, when sparked with excitement, instantly jumps to how perfect her future world will be with the amazing solution at hand.
So here it is curly ladies, the end all be all of curly hair mantras.
"Wow, women of America, you've straightened your hair. You've really straightened your hair. Couldn't be any straighter. What do you call that? Limp? It's pointy, actually. Like a headdress of chopsticks. No, we don't hate it. It's a little severe maybe, but it works on some level. Why aren't you moving your head? Right, that'll mess it up. Can we touch it? No? Okay. All the celebrities are wearing their hair like that? Reese Witherspoon. Nicole Kidman. Well, there you go: You look like a celebrity. But sort of intractable and cold, like an ancient statue — of a goddess who is pissed off. Or John Lennon. Not like you at all, really. Not like when your hair was textured, thick, soft, imperfect, and you could move it around, and you looked, you know, human. It'll wash out in the morning, right? Whatever. Tonight, your scent is intoxicating, that dress is beautiful, and your hair, well, it's just really damn straight. – Esquire magazine."