Comments on: My White Guy Understands

By: mynaturlblkhair

mynaturlblkhair — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 08:03:28 +0000

Wow! Love this story….I just wrote my story on how my husband who is white is my biggest fan of my natural hair!! I was soo afraid to wear my natural hair, but he was very supportive and encourage me. I love my hubby…! He truly loves me for more than my hair..lol..Anyway, I’m sure there are black men who would appreciate natural hair. I just dated the one’s who were superficial and did not understand my hair. I was told I needed to put the “white stuff” in my hair. Another attempt, and I was told I “Might”look okay with my natural hair if I grew it really long.

By: cocoadiva

cocoadiva — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 15:04:59 +0000

I agree that it is wonderful that your husband is accepting of your hairstyle. Since doing the big chop almost a year ago I’ve gotten mostly positive feedback from both white and black men. The few negative comments I’ve gotten are from black men. Comments such as, “When will this phase be over.” I just laugh because I know that black men and women have by in large bought into the myth that long straight hair is inherently better than short kinky hair. Interestingly enough I met my boyfriend (who is African American) after the big chop. He loves my hair. The bigger and wilder the better. It is truly wonderful dating someone who sees the beauty in my natural state. Although I must say, even if he had a problem with it I wouldn’t change a thing because I love it. Being myself is not “a phase.” It is who I intend to be for the rest of my life.

By: Chocodiva007

Chocodiva007 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:41:59 +0000

Let’s be real. Many of “us” have been raised to have issues with our hair. A permed acquaintance said “natural BW” have traded permed hair obsession for curl pattern obsession. Black men are not immune to having a negative opinion about it. My teenage son says all the time that many of his Black male friends constantly talk about how the “total” package of a young women includes silky & long hair. They don’t want “bald headed or nappy headed women”. They listen to popular music and I forget this one rapper said he did not want a woman whose hair tricked him because when she got out of the pool; it napped up. It was in some urban slang, but that was the jist of it. My own male family members “kid” about throwing some relaxer in my hair when I am sleeping (I have locs). Their wives, lovely Black women, say that it would be too unprofessional Down South to run around with nappy hair. I think that many Non Black men don’t come in with the emotional and historical baggage that many of us have experienced to varying degrees so they can look at our hair more objectively.

By: Rhian Sharp

Rhian Sharp — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:38:36 +0000

Hey Wavezncurlz,

I think her point was that there is a perception that men who are not of African decent can’t understand what women of African decent go through regarding their hair.

The author very clearly shows that the perception is not reality. I agree with her.

By: wavezncurlz

wavezncurlz — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 06:25:05 +0000

I get the point of your article. However, I was a bit taken aback by the title. Isn’t the point that it is great to be with someone who gets you and understands your hair. Not that he’s a white guy. Trust me, there are plenty of african american men who love and cherish natural curls. Any man that doesnt (regardless of race) isn’t worth my time.

By: Michelle Seabrooks

Michelle Seabrooks — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:45:23 +0000

As the ladies of Naturally Curly know, they have been with me from the very beginning of my natural hair journey; I was very surprised at the reactions I received from men when I decided to go completely natural. For 27 years, I wore my hair relaxed. When I decided to go natural, I was wearing my hair in a very, very short relaxed style, Toni Braxton, back in the day, so the big chop was not an issue for me. I just went about eight weeks without a perm and then cut off the rest of the perm. So, I had a head full of very short natural 3C/4A curls. I received more encouragement and compliments from white men than I did from black men. In fact, one of the black men in my office actually said, “Why did you let your hairdresser do that to your hair?” The other black men didn’t say anything and just pretended they didn’t notice. I work in corporate America, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised since most women with curly hair, black women, white women, and other women of color, do wear their curly hair relaxed, ironed, or pressed. Although, I am noticing more and more women going naturally curly and especially a lot of African American women who are moving away from relaxers and embracing their natural curls, kinks, and coils. What did surprise me are the reactions I received from white men vs. that of black men.
Now my hair is longer, below my neck, and I still receive wonderful compliments from mostly white men, and still not as many from black men. It doesn’t bother me because I feel great this way and I think I look better now than I ever did with my relaxed hair. It’s who I am. So, whoever I end up with, black, white, or whatever race or color in between, will have to love all of my great qualities and my imperfections, topped off with a head of wonderful, wild, beautiful curls.
Thank you, ladies, for the insight and this wonderful article!
Michelle

By: prynsys03

prynsys03 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:00:31 +0000

My fiance is Filipino. He LOVES my hair SHORT and natural. I have a head full of 3b and 3c curls, and he just Loves to play in them! He hates when I get micro braids and was ecstatic when I did the BC! I am trying to grow my curls out for our wedding and he just wants me to keep it short! we may have to compromise on that one!

When we first met, I had a relaxer and my hair was to my bra strap. Then when we started dating I had a short Halle Berry cut and he loved that, but when he saw my natural curls, he forgot all of the other hairstyles I had through out our relationship. Thanks to this website, I learned how to tame and care for my curls, and it’s a lot cheaper and less time consuming than relaxing and going to the salon every week!
I am sooo Blessed!

By: denise hanks

denise hanks — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:43:34 +0000

Just wanted to leave my two scents. I think if a “white raced” man is in a relationship with a black woman at all, he should already accept the difference in hair texture or he’s asking for trouble. I think the bigger issue is whether the man, no matter what race, is SUPPORTIVE of his woman’s journeys, personl or professtional. Thses are the KEEPERs. My husband is bald and while supportive he still sometimes askes “Can’t you just put on a hat?”

By: Gretchen

Gretchen — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:25:37 +0000

Love these insightful comments! Thanks, ladies!

By: MsOverproof

MsOverproof — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:44:25 +0000

Good article and comments. I guess it boils down to the fact that these men (white, Koren, Latino, Black) are secure in who they are and their love to embrace their women just as God made them. Not ever having to have dealt with an identity issue makes them impervious to the notion that one’s natural self is ugly. How can that be if that is how God made you. Besides if they wanted a woman with more caucasian characteristics they would have dated/married one. Loves it! I count myself blessed that I also have a supportive man on my natural journey.