Let me just say, I'm feeling your post. *
now moving on* 
My husband just likes hair - and lots of it. He has a fro, wants the boys to have fros or braids, wants the girls to have long hair, etc. He was devastated when I BC'd. I think it took him a lot of getting used to because we've been together since high school and I have always had long hair, so the TWA was a whole new thing - for both of us.
Now it's been almost a year since my BC and he can't keep his hands out of my hair. He is always rubbing it or grabbing or pulling. (uh huh, you know LOL) I asked him about it one night. I asked him why he was always rubbing my hair and he said, "because I like it." So then I asked him, "didn't you like it before?" "Yes." "Well why the big deal about rubbing it or playing in it now?"
(here comes the kicker) "Well, before you cut your hair, when it was all straight I didn't rub it because I felt like I would mess it up."
*dayum! That hit me like a ton of bricks!* How many times had I told him not to touch my hair or said no to the lovin' for fear of messing up my hair?
For a brief few seconds I felt really shallow. I was quiet for a minute. I didn't even know what to say next. Thank goodness he broke the silence for me and said, "I'm just glad I can mess with it now. I like it and it feels good."
I'm just saying...sometimes we need to check ourselves and our actions.