Thats quite interesting, because in this context it rather implies that any racist connotations are inverted onto the black women BY the black women... Your traumatic history seems to serve as a perpetual-racism-inducing-machine - where even if the white folk arent any longer making an issue, you feel one is there.
Not meaning to be confrontational in any respect there ;o) its just interesting to see, and also to see you guys acknowledge it.
Though it might not be limited to race in this respect. Remember, white women do feel an above average urge to straighten our hair ourselves. and very few of us are completely naturally straight. Perhaps this is nothing to do with fitting in white society at all, since white society is not naturally straight-haired itself. Maybe it is purely down to universal asthetic.