It is so sad that it is so rampant. I was in Sally's tonight looking for something to try to fix what I see as a total MESS I made in my hair with regard to hair health, and the woman working there, who is in cosmetology school, told me I had a good grade of hair. WTF?! I'm feeling this stuff all cruchy and dry and you think it is a "good grade" because it is curly? Screw some curls, can I please get some moisture up in my head? She said that she wanted to go natural but her hair was like an African's (I get this stupid statement a LOT from other black women for some reason). I told her I am West African and she didn't believe me. She said I must have "something else in me." I'd like to tell you I educated her, but I was trying to get home and she just started getting on my nerves.
When I was younger I used to hear stuff about being a "pretty little dark skinned girl" and even "pretty for a dark skinned girl." I think all my exposure to people's stupidity about my skin tone has made me just come to expect it about my hair being curly. I don't know that I really hear it. Some days I pick my TWA out and rock it strong, some days I rub product through to define curl. I wear it with defined curl 100% of the time to work though. I like the way it looks both ways but I find that I wear it curly more often. I am kinda thinking about that now like- am I wearing the curls defined because subconciously I am still allowing myself to be swayed by a relaxer preferring world? ITA with the posters who said it is about other ways to divide and classify.
I responded to a post in 4a about whether I would have gone natural if I had no curl definition. I said yes because I went natural because I didn't want to deal with the salon time and price anymore. As I think more about it, I still think I would have, but I also think about how much more negative response I would get to me going natural if I didn't have the curl. That is really sad. I am thinking about making a silent statement towards educating folks and picking my hair out, but in my head I know that the owners of my agency will FALL OUT. They are black too, but have actually told me that they don't know why I cut all my hair off and went natural. I get it from so many people.
I am rambling so I'll stop, but responding has just made me start to think about some of the things that people have been saying. I don't think I've really listened to them because I am kind of "do what I want" as a person anyway, but I am just realizing that I get a lot from "the peanut gallery" about my hair decisions. To the OP- people sadly don't realize that the only "good hair" is healthy hair because it grows out of everybody's scalp differently.