whatsercurl, I think some of your tangle issues could be frequency of haircut. We have similar hair attributes, but I get my hair cut every six weeks--and never tangle unless I use a product with mineral or castor oil. I don't care about slip or "grab," it makes no difference in how my hair looks or feels.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me