I think it is normal. My mother died 19 years ago. I never really got to know her as a person because she was too ill and not really capable of taking care of my sisters and myself. We were passed around between fosterhomes and family members. I think it's just the not really knowing and not having memories that really gets me. I need some sort of closure. I think it gets worse as I get older because I allow myself to think about it now. Before I'd just brush it off and not think about it.