great to hear you finally cracked it medusa! hair can be SO frustrating - if only it would talk to us! if you have a problem, like dryness, you try a diff conditioner. still not better. try cutting out protein. still not better. and by the time you've worked out what was the problem, a different problem has appeared from switching up products!!
the lather thing does sound weird... you must suffer buildup badly, your hair can't be very porous. from what i understand, my hair IS quite porous, BUT i do suffer buildup. although i cant feel the buildup ON my hair, it still just LOOKS wrong if i've used too much of something or of one ingredient.
anyway i'm rambling. glad you got it sorted and you can enjoy soft, clumpy, bouncy curls again