Actually Wings I'm finding some problems with soft water as well. I put a shower filter in about a month and a half ago and my hair has been very inconsistent since. Although my scalp is not nearly as itchy my hair seems to be going through some rebellion.
It's not everyday...but now it always seems like its either ultra dry OR over conditioned. I can't seem to find a good mix. Things that worked well before don't work at all with the soft water (in fact I'm ready to do some serious posting on the swap board!)--it is positively dramatic the difference!
I'm getting more frizz (although not much compared to people who get frizz though like my daughter) and the most inconsistent hair days ever.
It's very frustrating! I agree!