OK...Biochemist stepping back in here. The only difference between a relaxer and a texture softener is the method of application
. A relaxer is left on longer to take the hair to straightness while a texturizer/softer is left on for a shorter period to only loosen the curl. Sodium hydroxide, guanidine hydroxide, lithium hydroxide, potassium hydroxide...all the same thing. All from the same metal hydroxide family and all meant to do the same thing...destroy chemical bonds.
You cannot "wash out" a relaxer/texturizer. It is NOT like a semi-permanent color, and your hair cannot return to it original state. When you burn something on the stove, you can't put it in the fridge and have it return to it's pre-burnt state. That is all the laws of chemical change. If your hair returned to it's pre-relaxed state it may be because your hair has low porosity and is more resistant to chemical manipulation in the first place. But trust me, I have had a texturizer/softer and there is no returning to original state after a number of washes.
The reason why relaxers have an age limit is because the manufacturers are trying to cover their a$$ from lawsuits. It has nothing to do with stunted growth. And you are right to say "that is how consumerism works" because your have fed into all the marketing ploys in thinking that the texturizer/softener you get is any different to the boxed relaxers that sit on the shelf in Walgreens.