My scalp and hair are different and their needs differ. I wanted to love CO washing but my scalp hated it while my hair was ok with it. So I went modified and looked for non sulfate shampoos, but some of them are as harsh or harsher on my hair and scalp than pure sulfates! I still occasionally need a sulfate shampoo so my hair doesn't get weighed down, but I've found a host of things I can use, and as long as it's only very occasional my scalp doesn't rebel.
In the long run what works for each individual varies, though. Wish I could help more.