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Old 05-27-2010, 05:18 PM   #12
Rheanna
 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess2316 View Post
I've recently gone back to work full time after having my now 4 month old daughter. I have this constant feeling that I'm running an hour behind, I just don't get anything done! I don't eat breakfast, I don't eat supper until after she goes to bed most nights...I can't seem to find time to go running which I love and really helps me relieve stress, not to mention the house and the list of things I have to get done.

It's like my life is a constant race against the clock, I'm always rushing around trying to spend time with her and get things done around the house, my to-do list is getting out of control. I realize that it's ok that my house isn't picked up or perfect and I'm fine with that, but it's getting to the point of being ridiculous. I don't do well in chaos either, it makes me very irritable and unsettled, not to mention I don't relax well either when there are things sitting around undone.

Does it get easier? Is this just an adjustment phase of my family getting used to a change? I don't know, I certainly don't feel like my husband is bothered by it, he seems to find all kinds of time to play volleyball and watch tv. He's always telling me to go run or whatever, but then it's like he's pushing me out the door and then waiting at the door for me to get back so he can go do what he has to/wants to do. Again, I'm being timed and racing the clock. Any advice or words of encouragement?

My daughter will be 6 months old in about a week and to me, it's not any easier than when I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. I still tear up many mornings when I drop her off, even though I really like and trust her sitter and she's crazy about her and the sitter's two daughters. I always feel exactly like you said, always running behind, always racing against the clock. It's like I have a constant to-do list in my mind and I'm constantly analyzing the best order to do things in to be most efficient. I'm sort of OCD about the house, so it drives me absolutely insane to let it go too much, but I've had to some.

I feel a lot of guilt too. I haven't taken time to do anything fun for myself since she was born. This is about as exciting as it gets and I just do this when she naps, which isn't often. I haven't ever been anywhere without her except work, a couple grocery trips. I feel like I should spend every moment she's awake with her, so I try to do things when she sleeps. I'm always so overwhelmed in the evening with all I need to do, and so crazy rushed and exhausted in the morning. I should be washing dishes and eating dinner right now but I felt like I needed some time to just sit.

I'm mostly a single Mom, so that makes it harder in a way and possibly easier in a way too (I don't worry about cooking, for example). My BF is here a few nights a week, one day with her during the week, and on Sundays. That's it. I have no family or friends really where I live, so I don't have anyone else to help, or any free time at all really. It's HARD. The financial burden is unreal too, even though her father helps a lot with her expenses and some of my household bills too.

Anyway, this isn't about me, sorry.

In my opinion, it doesn't get easier, at least not for me. It's stressful, no matter what you do to try to make it easier. And then if the baby gets sick, or the sitter gets sick, or something else comes up, there you are with something super stressful to deal with and nowhere to turn. I've been there once and it really sucked.

Personally, if I had the option to, I wouldn't be working, at least not full time. I obviously don't know about your financial position, but if you don't like it as time goes on too, try running the numbers and see if it's possible for you to work part time only, or stay home, if that's something you want. It's amazing to start adding up all your expenses incurred mostly just because you work outside the home. From gas to extra taxes (if you're in a higher bracket, for example), to clothing, to food, and so on. And of course, the biggie - child care. Obviously it has to be something that you and hubby both agree on though if you wanted to go that route. I think that's an issue like cosleeping or any parenting things - if both parties don't agree, it can cause some big problems.
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