Well, I ended up straightening it
I just couldn't take the stares and insults anymore. it Is really sad that I'm glad that I live 7 hours away from my parents.
I still stayed away from cones and sulfates and didn't have to use a flat iron. I used tons of leave in condish though. It straightened really good with just a blow dryer and brush. doing it once was enough to last me for 4 days. Just to get me through the holiday so I don't "embarrass her". I got alot of compliments on it too which she loved of course so she could say I told you so.
But I have decided that i'm not doing it anymore. I just wasn't prepared for the insults about my curly hair. I was already feeling self-concious and she just made it worse. I told her I didn't want her opinion about the way I look anymore and I'd appreciate it if she couldn't say anything positive to keep it to herself. She cried of course and said I was being mean. I doubt she will ever stop so its going to have to be me that gets over it somehow.
Banjocurl-thanks for the book recs! I will try and pick those up!