If the crunch won't scrunch out with softer hold getls you might need more conditioner or have buildup in that area, or you might not be leaving enough water in your hair before you put the gel in.
If I squeeze out too much water and then add gel it will be super crispy in my dryer spots. Or if I don't leave in enough conditioner. Or if I have protein buildup from a product.
If I leave in a good conditioner a lot of times I get no crunch at all. I try to leave in enough to have a little crunch that is easily scrunched out. You have to play around and see how much that is for your hair.
Personally I don't mind if my hair isn't touchable as long as it looks fabulous and isn't real crisp. Hairspray that I used to use made my hair untouchable anyway so it's much more touchable now