Wow! What a great thread! I have learned so much and this is exactly what I've been struggling with, but just didn't really know how to say it or what was going on. This has cleared up so much for me!
This is exactly what's been happening to me. I get weighed down very easily so I thought I was getting overconditioned, so I'd back off of the conditioning, but then immediately my hair would get dry and frizzy with no definition.
I knew my balance was off, but I just couldn't figure out how to make it right. This "grabby" texturizing thing makes total sense to me and I guess unless you have hair that doesn't need slip, and it seems to me that more curlies need slip than don't, it really wouldn't make any sense.
Anyway, I feel like I've finally turned another corner in my curly hair journey and the mystery is slowly unraveling itself.