It's good to know I'm alone with the uncaring mother stuff.

And no, I don't really feel any better. I thought about it again at new year. Although I won't do it.

Now with people wanting me to change the way I am and a mother who makes me feel worthless, I'm miserable as hell. I do need to see my GP. I've tried counselling but found it hard to talk because I've grown up not knowing how to deal with my feelings and feeling worthless and unimportant. I suck.
Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.