Please don't relax her hair. My mother relaxed my hair starting from age 4 and to this day, I struggle with shame and self esteem issues about my hair. I grew up believing that my hair was an "unacceptable" kinky mess (kinky was my mother's word for my hair) only to find out that under my relaxer were beautiful curls. My daughter is curly and I am really trying to have her love her hair and to accept herself for who she is. Relaxing her hair at a young age - no matter how convenient it seems for you - will make your daughter lose self-confidence and will create a lifetime of hurt feelings.
Also, in addition to the psychological aspects, I had to endure hours of relaxing and years of chemical burns on my scalp. Relaxing is no picnic and should only be done if she wants it. Honestly, if my daughter asked me to relax her hair I wouldn't let her do it - at least not at a young age - because it's not something that you can just undo. I grew out a relaxer for the first time at 20 years old and it took me about 2 years to do it. I also had to learn how to handle my hair from scratch. The biggest favor you can do for your daughter is to learn how to do her hair and to teach her how to manage it so that when she gets older, she'll feel pretty as she is.
Last edited by CurlyMomof3; 08-12-2010 at 08:58 PM.