Ditto.........Eastcoast waves, I think you and I need to talk, we sound too much alike. I get complitments on my pictures but what people don't realize is that *most* of the time my hair does not look like that. Like you said, it will be nice and curly one day (like my pictures) and the next could be a frazzly ugly mess, and trying to force it to be curly every day was *so* frustrating.
This morning I tried to style my hair "curly", it carefully did it as to not mess up the curls and spent a fair amount of time diffusing and babying the hopeful curls on my head and you know what happened? It looked like the biggest, ugliest rats nest and felt so gross and grungy.........I could have just screamed. So, I stuck my head back in the but rinsed it ran some Detang. Rinse through it, blotted with a towel and then finger combed through some mousse, shook it and blow dried on high until 90% dry and then finsished the ends with a diffuser. My hair (some waves, some curls) turned out so much better. It was soft and full and wavy and had a life of its own. Like you said, I can finger comb it, touch it, let it blow and just let it be itself.
I dont' think my hair likes me to make a fuss over it, just dry it, add a few curls and let it go, that's what I used to do, I never stressed over my hair until I cam here
I am glad that I have learned how to take better care of my hair though, hopefully it will be healthier from not using harsh sulfates daily and gentler styling products.
What leave in do you use for styling? and if you have ever looked at my pictures, is our hair similar?