I'm jumping into this discussion late (I was away on vacation & now catching up on posts). ITA with Eastcoastwaves.
It's so strange - for many years I'd gotten perms and didn't even know I had wavy/curly hair. Then I finally stopped perming 5 years ago and was shocked & pleased when I discovered that my natural hair was actually quite wavy/curly. Then my pleasure turned to irritation when I discovered that my hair would not behave as I wanted it to - on any given day it could look either decent - or it would look puffy, frizzy, dry, big, slightly wavy, very wavy - depending on factors I couldn't even begin to figure out - full moon, Tuesday, Arbor Day, who knew?
Eventually I found this website where I picked up tips on how to make my hair look curlier. So I bought tons of recommended products: curl enhancers, gels, shampoos, conditioners, you name it. Some worked for just a little while and some not at all - but each new product would give me hope - hope that this would be "it" - the product that would give me great curl definition, no frizz, no puff, and perfect curls.
It took me too long to finally realize that no amount of coaxing, products, and styling techniques will ever give me perfectly beautiful curls - Never. Ever. Period. Some are better on my hair than others, but none will turn my 2B/C hair into 3A or 3B. And now that I have accepted this fact, I have slowed wayyy down on product purchases. Not only am I saving a lot of money and time, but I am much happier with my hair now that I don't expect it to be curly (or straight, for that matter - my hair is nearly impossible to straighten without a lot of time-consuming work).
These days a good hair day for me is when my hair looks wavy & healthy - that is my revised criteria. I have (proudly) stuck with the same products for 6 months now - well okay, I'll admit to an occasional new product purchase every once in a while (old habits die hard
) but for the most part I have stopped trying every new product that comes down the pike. And yes, I still do have those bad hair days, and they annoy me - but I can tolerate these days better because they are not the crises they used to be. I feel like I have come full circle.