I can sooo relate to this topic. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in Hair Purgatory. It's frustrating for me because I have hair that is only 50 percent wavy and then the other 50 percent under my canopy is almost straight. But just wavy enough so the ends look like frayed paintbrushes!
I've given up any hope of manipulating my waves into anything other than a disheveled, unkempt look. The most I can hope for is to improve hair health and get it shiny and de-frizzed. I still prefer having my hair to boring straight hair, but my waves are lazy, cowlicky affairs that just look tweaked and poofy without proper coaxing and I do get tired of the Herculean effort involved not to look like I have chronic bedhead.
2C, Asian hair, very thick and coarse. And virtually indestructible, leaving a swath of destruction of exploded barettes, rubberbands and snapped chopsticks in its wake.