I feel bad for her too
This whole thing is such a mess and you know what? He's a total screw up ... I've always reassured him that he's not but when you bring another life into the equation it's a whole nother issue. He's made a mess of everthing and is completley selfish and immature in many of his decisions. This is first real consequence and he needs to get his head out of the clouds and be a man.
I posted this also to help sort out my own feelings on it .... your responses and mine are definitely helping me sort things out in my own head.