I've never used an epilator. I tried waxing but I couldn't do it. I tried Nair, but it seemed like it made my skin just as irritated as shaving so I decided to stick to shaving.
I did some research online and read somewhere that it's better to shave more sensitive areas with a single blade razor, than a three blade, like those Venus ones. I use a single blade on my underarms and bikini area and a four-blade knock off on my legs. I also do a brown sugar scrub before I shave. This routine has helped a lot. I still get ingrowns but I just pull them out with the tweezers and keep it moving. For my eyebrows, I use a fold-up single blade that I got from Walgreens and just shape them a little bit. I used to tweeze but I hated it. HTH