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Old 04-15-2011, 10:56 PM   #1036
Ajidahk
 
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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I'm really afraid I'm just going-off the deep end. I'm in a pattern right now where I don't fall asleep until about 4 AM (even when I get into bed at a decent hour) and then end-up sleeping until about 11 AM. At LEAST I am getting sleep...but for five years, I was getting-up between 5-6 every morning. I have always been an early riser, even on weekends, and hate feeling like I am wasting a day...but now I just feel like I am wasting my entire life.
I could've written this, CIBC. I hate sleeping in so late. I always feel so guilty and like I'm wasting too much time. I told myself I am getting up at 9am tomorrow. This cycle has to stop!

I haven't really been job hunting lately. It's really annoying, but I'm gonna do one of your numbers and apply to as many jobs I can this weekend. I am also going to go to my local Barnes & Noble and begin to read a self-help/inspirational/self-development book. I've been looking at The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama. I also want to sign up for a volunteer service.

I've got to get myself out of this depression. I am so unhappy. I am usually upbeat, positive and I used to love hanging out with friends. Now, I have no desire to socialize. A friend visited me a few weeks ago and I really had to try hard to seem like I was outgoing and ready to party. It was all an act. Inside, I am just extremely frustrated with myself. And I don't want to socialize and meet new people because they all have something to talk about. I have nothing. I hate pretending that I am happy when I am not.

I've been going to the gym almost every day and that has helped a little.
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