Ya'll don't hate me for this, but I swear to God I was surely saying the same thing you just said a month ago, and so I decided to give Curlaway a try. If you're a 4b then you may not get curls or whatever you're looking for there, but your hair will definitely be more manageable. I don't even have to use a comb as a styling tool anymore, only finger styling!
You just have to moisturize your hair more if you're gonna try it, though. It will help your hair take in more moisture, which will make your hair more manageable and it won't be hard or hurt when you use your pick!
(side note: I done already tried the texturizers, kiddie perms, etc... all that stuff you named in your post...)