So it sounds like you look good in a lot of shades but you look BEST in the blue/gray based cool shades. I'm guessing you look better in blues than olive green for example? (or are you thinking of a gray/olive?) The fact that coral, orange and peach don't work with your coloring helps a lot to pick a shade.
For how dark you should aim for in your hair color - do you look BEST in pastels or more saturated colors? Take your cue from that.
As for makeup even thought the reddish browns make the green in your hazel eyes pop - do those colors complement your skin?
And in jewelry - if silver and gold both look good does one look better?
Since you like auburn it seems like you should probably look for a shade with burgundy/wine tones as Ringlets suggested. And if you go for highlights they would be on the ash side not golden.
Judging skin tones is tricky. My coloring might appear pink to you but it really has a yellow undertone and I look best in an orange based auburn, corals, olive green, etc. Burgundy & gray look terrible on me. Ringlets' suggestion to hold colors up to your face is the secret to finding colors that complement your skin.