missy, do you know your hair's properties? Texture, porosity, and elasticity? I haven't seen any mention of that on the thread yet. If not, that's the best place to start. With all the different products you've been trying, you could be using all the wrong things on your hair without even knowing it.

Texture is important because it'll tell you if your hair needs moisture, protein, or both. Porosity tells you if your hair strand loses moisture too easily (or has a hard time taking it in). Read this page, and see if you can identify your texture and porosity:

Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics

If you have a hard time determining your properties, as I did, I highly recommend the hair analysis service. For $12.95, you can send in samples of your hair and they'll tell you your properties:

Live Curly Live Free - Hair Analysis

If you'd also like product recommendations, so you have a place to start with what to use on your hair, you could go to LCLF's sister site instead and get the premium profile for $19.95, which includes the hair analysis AND product recommendations:

Curl Wizard - CurlGenie Profiles

I can't even begin to tell you how much having this done reduced my frustration and finally put me on the road to having healthy, pretty curls. The analysis and recommendations were spot on, and my hair is finally starting to look and feel as it should.

HTH.
Sulfate/non-water-soluble silicone free since 8/16/10
Northern VA
Med-coarse, normal porosity, low elasticity
Dye-free since 11/2010