It's pretty much finding the right protein/moisture balance--and the right products/techniques.
Not everyone's hair responds well to all products. Many of us start out with Deva, think we like it and then move on to really great products. Deva changed their ingredients a few years ago. I, personally, find the NoPoo very drying since they did. I used to let the salon use the NoPoo (none of the other products), but not for the last two years.
You may need to rotate your products. My hair, and many others, has always satiated on product. I wet, rinse out and style everyday seldom using any one product more then twice a week. Just because a product works for someone on nc.com doesn't mean it will work for you. It's all trial and error--and finding what's good for you. Unfortunately, it takes a while.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Marie Dean Leave Ins and Curl Creams