OMG, I completely understand where you're coming from. I come from a west indian background too and my grandma gave me my 1st perm when I was about 5 or 6. I was living with her at the time and she had to do my hair. She couldn't manage it at all because it's sooo thick and curly! She permed it because she claimed my hair was "hard" (I will NEVER
but to get back on topic, my grandma's hair was very curly (4a'ish curly caesar) she has 3 kids, my mom and my 2 uncles all have her curly hair. My 1st cousin (for one of my uncles) asked my mom when we went to visit recentl, how comes she didn't get her father's curly hair and how comes MY
hair is curly (like my moms) and my other uncle's wife (they have 3 girls) said to my mom back in the day, " I really thought the girls would of had his complexion and have his hair" (she's also west indian and my uncle is light skin with curly hair)
People back home really have issues. If you're not light skin with "nice" hair then something is wrong with you. They don't even take the time to understand different types of textures. They PRAISE a light skin child or a child with "soft hair. It's so sickening to me! UGH!!