I actually only eat dinner, and a little bit. I always make excuses like I ate at school and am not hungry.

To be honest, no one knows about my disorder, I am very ashamed... but I seem awkward most days. I fidget, I look as though I am not paying attention, I'll fall asleep, not be able to talk properly, trip over myself... and people assume it's drugs. My best friend calls me a steatopygous which is a term used to describe a figure with a fat ass, when I tell him to stop, he won't and will make cracks about my weight thinking it's funny because I'm "not fat".

Soy milk is wonderful! I can't handle dairy.

I'm scared for next week, my memory is shot and I'm always tired. I need to get through a Latin exam, Greek art exam and a Greek test...

I'm ranting again, it's a bad day.

I wish I had supportive parents and friends. When I had told my mother years ago that I am depressed, she told me to get the **** over it.
Originally Posted by InMediasRes



My psychiatrist, told my parents I was depressed and they chuckled while telling him I was only twelve. Years later in eleventh grade when I finally told them i had suffered from anorexia and bulimia on and off since 4th grade, they were baffled.
I was told, "you are half black, black girls dont have eating disorders." Surprisingly i hid it for so long even at my lowest weight they thought it was phase.

You know parents dont understand unless they have had that experience also.
Originally Posted by sillyellie
Oh, sweet anus. I HATE THAT. When I was struggling with cutting, depression and EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) I was always belittled or told that black girls don't have cut themselves or have eating disorders. It's enough to drive someone even crazier. People were always making me feel bad about the entire thing because EDNOS is already kinda seen as the joke of all eating disorders (someone seriously told me this) so i felt as though I was oerexaggerating. But when I was always cold, always sick from overexercising and undereating, and my hair's few sheds a day turned into clumps in my comb, I knew that just because everyone else thought I didn't have a real "problem", it wasn't going to get much better if I didn't change.

But the point is yeah, my hair started falling out and was extremely dry. It's basically back to normal now, but it still sheds much more than it used to.

Big Chop: 11/25/09
Cottony/fluffy, medium/coarse, high density & porosity
SL - APL - BSB - BSL - MBL - WL - HL