sorry to answer so late.
I am unfamiliar with the suave coconut, but the coconut conditioner I have is a protein based one.
Too much protein on me causes my hair to become dry and brittle. I switched to Garnier Fructis triple nutrition for super moisturizing and occasionally do a protein conditioner to keep the curls bouncing.
hmm I just re-read your post and wonder if there are silicones in the styling product you're using. Coconut oil definitely makes my hair feel brittle. Colouring your hair will invariably increase the damage level already there, so yes indeed it is likely that too.
It's a long journey, learning what works for you.. but keep reading and posting, and you will figure it out! It is SO worth it. I've never loved my hair as much as I do now.. and I know I have even more I can improve on.