Hrm... sounds like you're doing all the right things.. but then again, curly hair tends to be super dry and may need a lot more moisture. Maybe you can show her how to moisturize her own hair and send her to school with a trial size of conditioner so she can refresh during the day. Not sure if that's realistic, but you know your child better than I do.
And I feel her pain.. kids don't know that being unique/different is a blessing not a curse. But in time they will figure that out as well. Good luck with your daughter..let us know how it goes.
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
"...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)