I may try a low poo with cocobetaine in it, as it is strong enough to remove *most* build up. I wonder if that shampoo is not enough for you.
Have you tried raking your product in?
It seems like you need something to de-frizz and something for hold. I know you don't want to add too many products until your hair starts to behave...Can you start out using a SMALL pea size amount of your conditioner as a leave in and then use gel or mousse? There is a cheap mousse from CVS (3 in 1 Condition) that worked well on my fine hair to just give some definition...I would try raking your products in (even combing them in with a wide tooth comb) and then scrunch a *little* just to get the curls going.
You need to find out what works for you and that may take some expirementing...
2b/3a, normal/high porosity, fine/medium texture, medium density, low elasticity
Low Poo- Tigi Colour Goddess, Giovanni 50:50, Giovanni TTT (clarify 1X/week)
Condish- CJ Curl Rehab, Giovanni 50:50, Giovanni TTT
Leave In- Slip Detangler, KCKT, Redken Curl Refiner
Style- KCCC, SS CEJ, SS FHG
Treatment- CJ Repair Me! and CJ CR
Dislikes: Too much protein, high glycerin content, and heavy oils