My grandmother is the same way! It's really frustrating sometimes. She's absolutely convinced I don't comb my hair because of the clumps and any time she gets close to me, she tries to finger comb them out. It's really bad for my sister though. I have more 3c hair while she has 4a. So many times people in my family will call her hair nappy (derogatorily, of course). The other day I was helping her put together her Halloween costume; she's being Cleopatra. Well the costume has a really long, straight black wig, and my grandma went on and on about how it was so much better than her regular hair. Keep in mind this is a cheap party wig, it looked absolutely terrible! I can't imagine how she felt being told her hair was worse than something that looked awful to begin with.
It just really sucks, because your family is supposed to be your support system. It's hurtful when there are already so many people against you, and the people who care about you the most are against you too.