Self hate about natural hair runs deep. My mom always said "marry a man with good hair". I married a man I could spend my life with, his hair was quite irrelevant. My sons are 4a & 3c. Folks get mad we cut their hair low in the summer. "those curls won't come back" is the theory. Although they come back thicker every fall.
Anyway, be proud of your hair & let your family know you would like to have hair when your 85 and relaxers don't help that.
My great grandma is 84 and her hair is thick n beautiful as ever. She uses a hot comb on her edges, blue magic & sponge rollers (older than me). Thats her regimen along with trimming on each full moon. Real talk most women in my fam have been buried in wigs. I won't be going out like that. Only juices & berries for me.
Your grandma should respect that this is YOUR hair on YOUR head and love you, period.
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About my hair:
weekly shampoo-HE Honey I'm Strong
daily conditioner-HE Honey I'm Strong (use as li)
go to style-Pocahontas braids