I think faithfully keeping a hair diary (or blog in this case) is really beneficial in helping to figure your hair out. I'm still relatively new to allowing my hair to be its naturally curly self 100% of the time, and the hair diary I've been keeping daily for a over two months now, has helped a lot with zeroing in on what products and routines are working and which ones aren't. Hope your blog helps you, too.
In the meantime, I'm curious if you're still using SheaMoisture. I ask because you said your hair is coarse. Everyone's hair is different, of course, but many curlies with coarse hair can't tolerate even small amounts of protein. If that's the case, the sea kelp (protein) in some of the SheaMoisture could really be doing a number on your hair.
Reading labels on all products is another thing you may have to do to really learn what works and what doesn't. Again, keeping track of this product ingredients in something like your blog will help the learning curve on know more about ingredients your hair loves and ones you have to avoid completely. Btw, I regularly check the Product Reviews section here on nc.com because if a product I want info on is listed there, then a lot of the work has already been done for me. I can easily just check the ingredient properties I most want to keep track of -- sulfate-free, silicone-free, protein-free (except for silk proteins which my hair does just fine with), glycerine-free. Doing this helped me learn that my hair can't take some proteins but likes others.
Another thought -- I see you said your hair doesn't like oils. Which ones have your tried? Your hair may respond really well with some oils but not with others. My hair does great with coconut oil and also does well with EVOO. I've tried jojoba oil, my hair only did so-so with it, so I don't use it anymore.
Anyway, I wish you luck with learning the proper care for *your* specific hair. Your hair actually looks pretty good in the pics you've posted here. There's obviously lots of potential there!
3b / Fine / Low (to Med) Density / Normal Porosity & Elasticity
Currently Using [*Holy Grails*] Cleansers:
DC No-Poo / DC Low-Poo / *BaSo & ACV
CJ Beauticurls Argan & OO / DC OneC / Organicals DC Creme
Additives: *Silk Amino Acids* /
Honeyquat / Fragrance Oils
KCKT / CJ Beauticurls LI / CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing Daily Condish
DTs: *Coconut Oil* rinses
, EVOO, & DC OneC / CJ Curl Rehab
*DM Super Buttercreme
Goal: APL Hair