I don't think she is doomed. She just needs to stand up and say "Hey, mom I'm not inviting you because you make any family/friend event your stage and you don't care to have your event ruined. Mom needs a reality check and she needs to grow up. She then will have the option of coming and being an adult or staying home. It should be her option. If she shows up and starts her crap, show her the door. You warned her beforehand. Like I said before, stop enabling this woman.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
Okay, I think this is pretty harsh. This is her MOTHER. She is an adult, she just has her own topics that she finds interesting, or might spark conversation. Kick her mom out from Thanksgiving dinner, seriously? You'd be okay with one of your kids doing this to you?

I think warning others (if they've been there before, they know how mom is), is a good idea. Or, even before people get there, ask mom to try and keep conversation light and upbeat, as she (the OP) remembers how hurt she was last year, the hurt can be avoided etc.

I think short of causing family drama by just not inviting her, there are things that can be done. However, if mom has pretty much always been like this, even not inviting her won't make her change and just cause more hurt.