I feel your frustration which is why I dont like to go into a lot of hair talk with people who arent natural because usually they dont understand what you are talking about. That said it is possible to change what your curl pattern looks like without chemicals. being 4a i can go with what my hair does naturally or with the proper tool I can mimic the other hair types. I dont flat iron but if I did I could become a 1 o 2. Rollersets which i do sometimes make me look type 3 and then grab a pick and im 4b.
"More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them." - Harold J. Smith.