To all the only child people specifically (and anyone else that just wants to offer some opinion..)
My son is 8. He's an only child. And he expressed to me today that he feels very lonely and sad and wishes that I would have another child. And the look on this child's face..I mean my dayum soul hurt for him. He said he just doesn't understand why I won't give him a brother or sister..and it hurts him.
I didn't know what to say to him so I told him that his father and I love him very much and that we don't want him to feel lonely. Now I didn't say yes or no to another child. I just coddled him and he went off.
We've have similiar discussions before (like he's mentioned he'd like a sibling but I've always told him that he's the best kid in the world and he's all we need and my husband has basically told him that we didn't plan for more children) but he never seemed to express his desire for siblings with such sadness and pain in his eyes as he did today. As a mother that killed me..I mean killed me. So much so that I called my husband at work all upset and crying today.
We (my husband and I) discussed our son's feelings when he went to bed. My husband said that our son's circumstances weren't going to change and he's not sure what we can do about it besides love the boy. I'm not even sure I could conceive (I have some reproductive issues that I'd rather not disclose) and I don't even know if it's something we'd consider..we had no real plans for another child..especially not now...8 years into raising a child!
So my question is..how can I help my son ? It doesn't look like we are going to be able to have any more children. And I feel horrible for my son. I grew up with a brother and he and I were SUPER close and my husband had 5 other siblings....so we really can't relate to what he's going thru at all. But as a mother I'm so pained that my child is hurting like this..and as a mother it makes me feel like I failed him in some way.
I mean what can I do ? Do only children grow up to resent their parents ? Is it wrong to have a baby just so another child won't be so lonely..should I even go there..I can't imagine the money and effort it would take..UGH!
Is there something I can do to make this better for him ? How do only children cope ? I'm really at a loss...and I don't want to discuss this with my family and RL friends because I don't want to effin hear.."I told you so..told you that you should have tried to get preggers again right after him...now look!" Because I think I would really go off and end up saying and doing things that I can't take back.
Anyway..any help, advice, comments, whatever that ANY of you can offer..I'd appreciate it so so much. Because I'm extremely upset about this and can't even sleep. Yet my hubs is snoring. How do men do that ?
I am sorry if I sound like nut..I am a strong person but when it comes to my son..I just break. I adore him...probably to much.