Thank you so much for your feedback, all of you! Keep the good thoughts coming!
I found the tightly curly method a few months ago, got the Denman, the light conditioners... The problem there is that my hair shrinks. It doesn't lay down (the pic I have where it looks like her hair is on pressed hair that I put my prepoo in, just before washing) it shrinks into a matted poofball, from my back all the way up to my cheekbones like a mushroom. I got a few coils to stick, but they were literally 2-3 strands that turned into little corkscrews on my temples.
I need to hunt down more pics. You are probably right about not being 4B, I think I just have so much of it that I just assumed. But the curl pattern is very springy and not easily defined. I wonder if there's a way to lightly blog dry it to stretch out the curl pattern (I have a cold blow dryer) ... but that usually makes my ends go crazy. Hmm...
Something else about my hair, it takes heat well, soaks up moisture, and even in the harshest of overlapping relaxers and home treatments when I was little, NEVER fell out or broke of. It just doesn't break off. (heavenly dream, huh?) It takes twists very well, and will hold a shape for WEEKS. I have a pic up there at graduation, I just used water (no products, I rarely use products except for prepoos or random DTs before applying heat), made twists then bantu knots, then pulled them down the next morning before sticking my cap on. Water makes my hair happy, but also makes it look crazy.