I am not sure I can say that the poster above me hasn't, but I just want to say you have beautiful hair, and that I think this is about more than your hair. I am throwing good thoughts and vibes your way, and I hope you can come to terms with things (your hair and peole's reactions to it - because it's FANTASTIC!)

I am not sure, though, if it is 4b. You have a very clear curl pattern. I am not a proponent of the curl-typing system, but I said this because you said 4b and when I opened your pics I was surprised by what I saw.

I was mad for you and the people you call friends (and the hairstylist you trust your hair and money to) to be making a joke about your hair is unacceptable, especially considering they know you are sensitive (and even if you weren't, not cool)

Maybe it will help if you look into the tightly curly method. The woman on that site seems to have hair similar to yours and she has managed to make it work and grow, if you are willing to do the work she puts into it.

I wish I could say something more, insightful or exactly what you need, but again my best thoughts go out to you.

ETA: There is a straightening/relaxing forum on this site as well. It might be a helpful source of info if you go that route.
Originally Posted by 3c4d7zwhatevs
Thank you so much for your feedback, all of you! Keep the good thoughts coming!

I found the tightly curly method a few months ago, got the Denman, the light conditioners... The problem there is that my hair shrinks. It doesn't lay down (the pic I have where it looks like her hair is on pressed hair that I put my prepoo in, just before washing) it shrinks into a matted poofball, from my back all the way up to my cheekbones like a mushroom. I got a few coils to stick, but they were literally 2-3 strands that turned into little corkscrews on my temples.

I need to hunt down more pics. You are probably right about not being 4B, I think I just have so much of it that I just assumed. But the curl pattern is very springy and not easily defined. I wonder if there's a way to lightly blog dry it to stretch out the curl pattern (I have a cold blow dryer) ... but that usually makes my ends go crazy. Hmm...

Something else about my hair, it takes heat well, soaks up moisture, and even in the harshest of overlapping relaxers and home treatments when I was little, NEVER fell out or broke of. It just doesn't break off. (heavenly dream, huh?) It takes twists very well, and will hold a shape for WEEKS. I have a pic up there at graduation, I just used water (no products, I rarely use products except for prepoos or random DTs before applying heat), made twists then bantu knots, then pulled them down the next morning before sticking my cap on. Water makes my hair happy, but also makes it look crazy.
~My salvation lies in your love... Alexi Murdoch~

Last edited by bharjala; 02-23-2012 at 04:51 PM.