What?! Your hair is stunning! And it's super long. I would kill for that much pretty hair. Lol. But it just looks like you may need some gel if you want your hair to not mat/shrink/tangle as much. You don't have to gel it down to where it doesn't move, but that will at least help it from shrinking up. I know my hair is fine-textured, so gel helps it by giving it weight and hold. Also, I know that my curls act weird when I wear braids/twists or flat iron too much back to back... it's like they forget how to behave. You are beautiful and so is your hair! I know I went through the same thing when I first went natural, but I eventually stopped caring what people thought because I knew that my hair looked good and was healthy. Maybe you need to move to an area where there are more people who *look* like you - I think it will help tremendously with you feeling "ugly" when you wear a fro. I had to get over that too. I never wanted to go out for special occasions unless my hair was pressed. Let go and do you!!