CurlTalk - View Single Post - Discussing "controversial" pregnancy/birth/etc decisions with people...

Like.Australia · 03-06-2012, 10:08 AM

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Originally Posted by rainshower

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Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

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Originally Posted by Like.Australia

I'd rather not sit idly and listen to people who disagree for no reason other than their own ignorance. I'm very careful about what information I give, but I'm looking for ways to deal with people (mostly my parents and in-laws) who have their own ideas about pregnancy and childbirth that don't exactly mesh with mine.

But how would they know your ideas to be able to disagree with them, if you don't tell them? Unless you are looking for advice or second opinions (and it doesn't seem like you are), it's not necessary to share that information IMO.

^^ i agree.

and i think most pregnant women can't escape the unsolicited advice from loved ones and even strangers. seeing a pregnant women conjures up memories that make people want to share their own pregnancy experiences, old wives tales, birthing plans, parenting techniques, horrors, etc. most are well-meaning; a few get off on causing unnecessary unease.

with both pregnancies, i got used to smiling, nodding, and saying, "interesting! no, i hadn't heard of that" at most of the stuff i was subjected to, without letting on that i thought they were coo coo for cocoa puffs.

To date, I've shared very little. My husband, however, has shared with his mother that I've hired a doula, plan to have a non-hospital birth, and a few other tidbits. He hasn't just shared out of the blue; she asks things like, "what hospital is Like.Australia having the baby," which is followed up by "but why? who is going to be there then? what is an Abdula?" Ugh. I've asked him to share as little as possible and to play dumb, if necessary, in the future.