The demithicone in the Totally Twisted is peg so water soluable.
I use PVP gels, that gives hold. That Suave #10 has good hold.
I dont' think you have to avoid protein but I don't think at least in my hair it adds to hold. It does sometimes give me more curl or frizz depending on what kind of protein and what it's combined with.
If you leave a good leave in conditioner under BRHG it lessens the crunch so it can be scrunched out easier. I can't get hold at all without at least some crunch. I just concider it a fact of life.
Polyquats don't necessarily make the hair crunchy, Boots Curl creme which makes my hair really soft has polyquats in it. They have polyquats in some cg and non cg shampoos (meaning sulfates and no sulfates)